“I mean he/she’s cute but I don’t know”
We’ve all either heard or said this sentence at least once in our college careers. I know I have. Something I have noticed throughout my years here at OSU is lack of commitment. We are always looking for a better option whether it’s concerning weekend plans, what to eat for dinner, going or not going to the gym and even relationships.
I am going to preface this by saying I am in no way a relationship expert, no one at this age really is. In the age of Tinder, “Netflix and chill”, dating websites, “talking”, and ever present social media, we are constantly being sent signals that we should just be “swiping left” onto the next option. I like to call this phenomenon “Dating FOMO”.
FOMO is defined as the “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.”. When translated to our love lives, it means we don’t want to make a commitment to one person because the next best thing may still be coming. You may go on an awkward (or not awkward) date that you want to be over so another potential bae doesn’t see you. Or you may not know whether to think of it as a date so you play it down and don’t make a big deal out of it, which can sometimes do more damage. You may see a potential bae having a conversation with someone else and you then start second-guessing. And there are always the issues of being friend-zoned and then not wanting to move on in case the other person changes their mind. Even if you’re in a happy relationship you can experience the FOMO of not getting to play the field and you may start questioning whether you made the right choice. All the while, feelings are not being admitted, whether they are good or bad, and communication turns into a ring of “he said she said” and decoding interactions.
Every collegiate has hopes the cutie that sits in front of you will turn around and say “hi” one day or you’ll be walking across The Oval and walk right into “the one” just like in the movies. These thoughts, while they can be great, can also damage what we are really looking for, and that’s a romantic connection.
Dating FOMO can make you lose sight of what’s right in front of you and you may not realize it until it’s too late. If you find yourself wondering if you should keep playing the game, take a minute and choose to make a genuine connection. You may feel a bit awkward, a bit vulnerable, but that’s how you get deep down to the heart of the matter. And that feeling is better than endlessly swiping left, isn’t it?