If you are reading this article, I can safely assume it’s because you have gone through a breakup in recent days, weeks or months. I am here to help you, touting my non-expert advice in all its glory. It’s important to note that my advice comes from personal experience and should be taken as though it were from a friend. But if that’s what you need right now, read on, take notes and learn how to get over this breakup quickly.
Let’s start with the basics. When going through a breakup, most people experience similar feelings immediately afterward. Sadness, tears and confusion are surefire compliments to a breakup. One of the most popular emotions is the sudden feeling of needing to change your appearance — often your hair. Whether it be the cut, color or style, so many people make drastic changes to the way they look because their self-esteem takes a pretty bad hit during a breakup. I think changing your appearance after a breakup can be beneficial, as long as you are doing it for the right reasons.
For me, not changing my look helped more than changing it would have; it reminded me that I do not need to change my exterior to be worthy of someone or something. The way I look is perfectly okay, and the way you look is perfectly okay.
Maybe one day I will cut off all my hair, dye it blonde and get crazy highlights. Maybe. If that time comes, I will do it on my own terms and for nobody else but myself.
For the first few days after a breakup, it is completely normal to take to your bed and make it your best friend. If you need to, cry into your pillow for hours on end and maybe throw a little pity party. Welcome all of the old photos of you and your ex-partner, your old text messages, Snapchat memories, the whole shebang. But eventually, the last call will happen, and the pity party must end.
Once it ends, your life must go on — here’s how to start your return to normalcy.
Start saying “yes” to anything and everything that would allow you to spend time trying new things and spending time with the ones you love — even things you would normally be inclined to say no to. Does your mom want to go grocery shopping at your least favorite grocery store? Offer to go with her. Your friend wants to go to the mall and the McDonald’s drive-thru? Say you’d love to come. If your roommate wants to go for a walk around the block even though it’s approximately 5 degrees outside, don’t even hesitate. The key here is to start getting dressed, brushing your teeth, getting out of your house and talking to people. With every “yes” you say, the more normal you will feel, I promise. Another benefit of the “yes” policy is that you’ll start to rekindle friendships that may have started to slip away more than you would have liked while you were consumed with your relationship.
Finally, and this one is very important, you need to remind yourself that you are young. At this exact moment, while you are finishing up this article, this is the youngest you will ever be. As far as relationships, romance and love go, the world is your oyster.
Embrace it. You have so much ahead of you that you don’t even know about yet. How exciting is that?