Constantly looking for love can be exhausting, especially in college. Having someone that you thought you could trust and see a future with is the best feeling in the world, until they wake up one day and choose someone else. In my two years of college, I have learned so much about how I want to be treated and what I deserve. If I have one piece of advice, it’s that whoever you might be with in life, for however long or short-term it may be, you will always learn from that person. So, try to always look at the lesson being learned. My guide to getting over your “situationship” might not be perfect, but these are some things I do to not be sad over any guy.
1. ALlow yourself to feel sad
Although I still have yet to have a boyfriend, I have gone through many “situationships”. Getting over a guy who you pictured the future with is really difficult. Honestly, I realized that heartbreak is probably the worst feeling in the world. But, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, I promise!
I think the first thing you have to remind yourself when you are trying to get over a guy is to remember that your feelings are 100% valid. Whether you were talking to someone for a month or a year, your feelings for that person are still valid and you can be sad in any capacity you so please. No one but you and that person knows what your relationship was like. Even if you feel like your time with that person was short, you may have developed something special that takes a lot of time to forget about.
Crying while listening to breakup music is honestly so therapeutic. Sometimes a good cry and singing in the shower can truly help, and I think holding your feelings in is never good. Talking to my best friends was what got me through my heartaches, because they were able to comfort me and listen. Sometimes having someone to just listen is all you need. Feeling sad is more than okay and really helps in the long run.
2. Journal
Journaling goes hand and hand with feeling sad, and I think it allows for you to get all of your feelings out without having any outside opinions. “Me-time” is always comforting because you allow yourself to feel your emotions while getting them out on paper. Since I was ten years old, I have had a journal in my room where I write all about any crushes I have had or current relationships I am in. This is my favorite thing to do because it allows me to emote without having to feel guilty for ranting to my friends for too long. Having a journal is something I would totally recommend for anyone trying to get over a guy.
3. Work on yourself
Once you’ve surpassed the point of sadness, working on yourself is the best part of it all! When you have reached the point where you realize you deserve way more than that person was giving, working on yourself is a girl’s best friend! Remembering your worth can be really hard when a guy ghosts you or just simply doesn’t want to date, but you have to remember you deserve someone better than that anyways. Going to the gym and listening to upbeat music, creating strong friendships, meeting new people, focusing on health and school can only make you happier. So, remember, even though he ditched, don’t be down on yourself and try to get back into it!
4. Make a heartbreak playlist
Making playlists for certain moods always helps me out. I just recently made a playlist about breakups and I listen to it a lot. If you need to get a good cry in, just go to your playlist and I’m sure it will do the trick! Listening to relatable heartbreak music is one of the best cures because you can find comfort in knowing that everyone goes through this. Making the playlist can be therapeutic, too. Start by adding the song “HeartLess” by Madison Beer… you’ll thank me later.
5. Delete social media
If you are up for a challenge, I suggest deleting social media. I found myself stalking the guy I was caught up on almost every day. I realized that this was extremely unhealthy and the only thing it did was make me sad. There is no reason to stalk your old situationships, when really it will never benefit you. I decided to delete Instagram and it has helped me tremendously. Instead of using my time to stalk old crushes of mine, and being on the verge of tears sometimes after doing it, I have forgotten about them and paid attention to my own life. Seeing photos of your ex is never easy. I think one of my biggest pieces of advice is to delete social media, at least while you are still healing from your heartbreak, and try to focus on the good things in life.
p.s. they always come back
Although this doesn’t support what I am preaching, remember that they always come back. I say this because it helps me remember that they only left because of their own insecurities and it probably had nothing to do with you. Don’t let this bump in the road hold you back from becoming your best self. If you remember that, it is the key to making you feel better.