As a college student, it’s not unusual to have a Tinder account; it’s an app everyone seems to use. My first year of college was filled with the pressure from my friends to download the app. I’d never been on a dating app before, and I had inner conflicts due to the negative stereotype that these apps have– especially Tinder. Fortunately, I ignored the bad opinions, and it has led me to meeting such an incredible person on campus.Â
I would like to send a shout out to my roommate, as she was the one who encouraged me to make the first move and text one of my matches. I remember asking her, “Is it bad if I text him first or should I wait?” and she responded with “No girl, I text first all the time.” (Okay Miss Roomie, we love that confidence!)
With this, I texted “Heyy” and made sure to add an extra letter in a lame attempt to be flirty. From this first message, my match responded and our conversations started flowing. Therefore, I want to share some of his green flags and how it made a difference in establishing our relationship.
1. Asked for my phone number
While many of us use social media platforms such as Instagram and Snapchat to communicate with new people, I would like to preface that my match never asked me for any of my social media until a couple weeks after we talked. By exchanging numbers, it showed me that he was actually interested in talking to me or else we would have kept the conversations only on the Tinder app.
2. responded to all details
This was a huge green flag for me, and genuinely showed me that he was interested in our conversations. Ladies, I know we constantly overthink and question if someone is interested in us, but if they are not afraid to send a big text while responding to all points in your original message, take that as a very good sign.
Also, if you have to question if he is interested then he isn’t the one. The right man will never make you question anything in the relationship. He will constantly try to reassure you that he cares, whether that’s by putting in effort while texting you or showing affection.
3. Made me a playlist
Because he asked for my phone number, this was a great opportunity to talk about our hobbies, such as listening to music. His love language is music, so we made each other playlists of all our favorite songs and the ones that mean the most to us. By doing this, it allowed us to feel each other’s vibe and connect over our diverse music taste. Let’s just say that, as a pop girly, my favorite artist was Olivia Rodrigo. Now, it’s Lil Uzi Vert (I still love Olivia though, don’t worry).
4. Complimented personality first
I’m going to be honest and say I was super scared to start something over Tinder because, as all ladies feel, we are scared of it just being a “hookup” to the other person. I didn’t want to be used or hurt. As a bigger girl, I was scared that he wouldn’t like how I looked. To my surprise, he never once love-bombed me or complimented my physical features every second.
In fact, he did the opposite. He always made sure to talk about my personality and how he connected with my interests. I remember when I shared my Instagram with him for the first time, and he called me super pretty. It meant so much more this way. It was weird– I’d never talked about planes and space and conspiracy theories with a guy before, much less share the same opinion as them. Who knew that we would both come from space and plane loving families?
Fun fact: He’s from New York and visited a space museum 15 minutes from where I grew up. Sounds like fate to me!
5. told me its our turn
This was one of the most movie-esque experiences I have ever had in my entire life. He knew I was obsessed with reading romance novels, because in my mind, they’re perfect in every way: The happy endings. The cute tropes. The banter. The love. Everything.
One day, I was rambling about how much I’ve always wanted a romance story like the ones I read about, and he said, “well, maybe it’s your turn now.” Um? Kiss me right now? My heart has never fluttered as it did when he first said that to me. I think it’s evident that we should never settle for someone who won’t make you feel like the main character in a romance novel.
Now, these are only five green flags that I think made our relationship solid from the very beginning. Tinder and other online dating apps can be scary to use. I know I was terrified to put myself out there. Before him, I only thought of boys being all the same due to my experiences with a situationship and my friend’s relationship. I had called off all boys in this generation. Once you have had bad experiences with some, they make you question if you will ever find a good one.
Well, I’m here to proudly say that there are good ones out there. Ones that raise your expectations. Ones that make you believe in love. Ones that make you feel like you’re a character in your own romance novel.
Ladies, I think it’s important to put yourself out there, whether that means getting an online dating app or finding someone in person. It’s not inherently bad to meet your person online, and I think the stigma around it is ingenuine. If it wasn’t for Tinder, I wouldn’t have met my person. My match and I are in two completely different social groups on campus – I can’t imagine us ever coming into contact with one another outside of the app. Who knows if we ever would have crossed paths? That’s a scary thought.
But I encourage you to try it out and see if it’s for you, as online dating isn’t for everyone. That’s why it’s important to remember these five green flags when exploring your own potential matches. Good luck ladies, and remember to never settle because you are worth so much more!