My parents both immigrated to New Jersey when they were teenagers — my mom when she was 13 and my dad a few years later at the age of 17. They met at Monmouth University, my dad being the first in his family to go to college. Eventually, my dad’s medical school and residency brought them to Northeast Ohio where my three younger siblings and I were born, and my life as the oldest daughter began. We moved into our house when I was just about to turn two years old, right around the time when my first sister was born.
My siblings are Suzana, Sadie and Simon. Suzana is a junior in high school and she’s touring colleges right now. Sadie, who is a freshman in high school, auditioned for show choir after I’d done it in my junior and senior years. Simon is in seventh grade, and he travels everywhere for his soccer team — I think he’s becoming “too cool” for us by the day. I wish I could be there to give Suzana advice on her college search, watch Sadie’s performances and travel to Simon’s tournaments. This was the first year Suzana bought her homecoming dress without me, and I had to see Sadie’s first-ever homecoming dress through a five-minute FaceTime call.
Being in college means missing a lot of big moments. It means I barely get to know the first-grade class that my mom is teaching. It means I wasn’t there for my dad’s birthday. It means I barely talk to my brother, who’s too young to talk much on the phone.
We have other family members in Northeast Ohio. Many of us are still in Jersey, Portugal and the Philippines, but my two little cousins, their parents and my other uncle live within half an hour of our house. The kids are four and seven, and I barely get to see them either. Being far from my family just doesn’t feel the same.
When I’m not missing my family or talking to them on the phone, I’m running between a few different things. I’m a part of the Pilipino (Filipino) Student Association alongside other clubs, I work as a part-time barista at Gata Mágica Café and Lounge on High Street, I’m taking fifteen credit hours this semester and I am a nail technician on the side. Since I’m in-state, I have a few friends here with me from home, and I spend lots of time with them. It’s a lot of balancing between work, school, clubs and my social life.
At the beginning of the semester, I was more motivated than I think I ever have been before. I couldn’t wait to get started with college, join a million clubs and instantly make new life-long friends. But, by the beginning of October, that motivation was all gone. I couldn’t bring myself to go to the meetings for the clubs I signed up for, and I wasn’t taking any notes in class anymore. I was distracted, burnt out and I’d lost all of my momentum. On the bright side, I think now that exams are over, I’m getting back into the swing of things. I’m hoping I can finish out the semester stronger than when I went into midterms.
Over the few months I’ve been here, I’ve developed a pretty consistent routine. Laundry day is Monday after I meet my best friend for $2 lattes and a quick study session. I sleep in and wash my hair on Tuesdays and Thursdays before my 10:20 a.m. class. I work Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I fit nail appointments and schoolwork into any free time I can find. Most of the time, I manage to complete my work right before the deadline.
Decompressing is important, especially since I’ve committed to so much. I listen to a lot of music — some of my favorite recent releases are Halsey’s “The Great Impersonator” (I highly recommend checking out her Instagram promotion of the new record), Tyler, the Creator’s “Chromakopia” and Gracie Abrams’ “The Secret of Us Deluxe.” I spend a decent amount of time also split-screening Netflix and my homework — I highly recommend you watch “Suits” if you haven’t already; I’m currently re-watching it for the second time and loving it, as always. With my busy routine, taking time to relax and enjoy myself during the school week is critical.
There isn’t much that I wouldn’t do for my family. I’ve seen them every couple of weeks since I’ve been here, and they even came down the weekend of my mom’s birthday to take a big group of my friends out to dinner (it was all her idea).
I’m the oldest grandchild on my mom’s side and the first grandkid to go to college in our whole family. Being here means a lot to my relatives. It means a lot to me. Being the oldest daughter means I’m usually stubborn, I’m an extreme perfectionist and I always take on more than I should. It means sometimes I feel guilty that I’m here while my family is living their lives at home. It means everything I do feels like it has the weight of my family’s future on it.
As much as I miss them, college has been a great experience for me. Getting to know so many different people, having independence and working my first job have all been incredible experiences. As much as I miss my family, I can’t imagine not spending this year — and the next few years — in Columbus, Ohio, with the second family I’m making every day.