I want to say two things before this article:
1. You may not agree with what I say, and that’s totally fine. This article is just my own thoughts
2. If you are a boy from my past and think this article is about you—then it probably is.
I’ve never written an article about relationships before because I didn’t think I could give any advice since my love life is a mess. However, this week I decided to write something about boys.
I was once in a situation where I was talking to a boy who didn’t care. First, let me be honest, I didn’t really want a serious relationship. I just wanted something casual—we would talk everyday (not too much, but at least we would have conversations) and meet only once every week. I mean, yeah, I liked him, but I just didn’t want to be in a serious relationship right then. However, I did care about him (or liked him like I said).
Sadly, he didn’t care about me at all. I would double text him while he would only say he was busy, then ignore me for another six hours. I mean, there are only 24 hours every day. I was always the one who made plans, and I had to ask him several times whether he would be free because he sometimes tried to avoid the questions (like only sending me emojis or talking about other stuff). He always said that he was busy, but I never knew what he was doing.
I was tired. I was tired of waiting for the text. I was tired of making plans. I was tired of being tired. I was Miss Tired.
After I finally decided to end this, I couldn’t help but wonder why I put myself in such a situation; why I still wanted him when I knew it wasn’t a healthy relationship (I probably shouldn’t use that word but anyway) and he was bad for me; why we care about boys who don’t care.
First of all, I think when a guy doesn’t care about us, we think he is better than us or what we don’t deserve—even if he is not. Then we would have a desire to chase him and get his attention and interest because we all want things that are hard to get. We kind of want to prove that we’re beautiful/sexy/smart enough for him. The insecurity of losing him makes things worse. You want to do whatever you can to keep him.
Also, the mystery he creates makes you feel curious. Take myself as an example. I would wonder what he was doing or thinking when he ignored me. Was he busy working? Was he seeing other girls? Did he go to bed early because he had been M.I.A. since 10 p.m. (sometimes nine)? And the most important question: did he “ghost” me? I wanted to know the answer, so I would double text, even triple text him to find out the truth. People always want to know the answer, the truth of mysterious things—mummies, black holes, dark matter and the Goldbach conjecture (this might not be a proper example). I also think this sometimes will give you the illusion that he is irreplaceable. However, I don’t think anyone in this world is truly irreplaceable—that’s why I said it is an illusion.
All in all, I would like to say that we care about them and want them so bad just because they don’t care. We’re not “stupid” or “paranoid.” We’re just human with emotion.
But girls, we need to move on. The truth is, he isn’t ever going to care. The truth is, you are wasting your time on a guy who isn’t worth any of your time. You may think you don’t deserve a “good” guy like him, but no, in fact, it is he who doesn’t deserve a good girl like you.
I know it is hard because I’ve been through it. It takes courage to choose ourselves over those guys. At the end of the day, we will meet someone who really cares about us.
You are LOVED by this world
Mia (Instagram: Miastylebook)