Whether you’ve recently gone through a break-up or do not want to fall for the norms of cuffing season and are focusing on yourself, there are many different ways you can provide love to yourself and increase your happiness during this time. I’ve recently gone through a rough breakup and I’ve found a few things that have helped me as I spend my first cuffing season alone in five years. One of the most important things after ending a relationship is discovering who you are again and finding comfort in being by yourself.
While there are many things that can be done, here are my top five recommendations that have helped me.
- Listen to Podcasts
Before ending a three-year relationship, I never listened to podcasts unless they were about true crime or trending topics. When the break up happened, I found that there are plenty of podcasts that address heartbreak, self-love, manifestation, and more! Sometimes listening to people who have experienced the same things as you can help provide you with guidance or reassurance.
Two podcasts that I highly recommend are Self-Love Fix and Heal Your Heartbreak. Both hosts do an amazing job of explaining why we react in certain ways after a breakup and how we can deal with our losses. There are so many things that I have learned about myself and that have helped me during my healing process.
- Journal
I also recommend journaling because it allows you to express all of your emotions. Sometimes when I rant to my friends or family about my issues, I feel like I talk too much or am bothering them, but when I journal, I can say everything I need to say and feel everything that I need to feel. After I am done journaling, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I am able to open my heart to new emotions. It’s okay to use a blank notebook and free write, or there are guided journals that have prompts to help you open up. If you do decide to journal, make sure you wait awhile before reading what you have written. It’s nice to go back and reflect on what you had felt at one point and how you have changed.
- Try a New Hobby
When I was in my relationship, I tended to stick to the usual things that I liked to do like watching TV or playing basketball. When I finally had free time, I decided to try new things that would keep me occupied and would give me new goals to work on. I began reading books, playing video games, and painting. I have a terrible attention span and am not creative at all, but all three of these things brought me joy and that is what was most important. If you need inspiration for new hobbies to try, download pinterest and scroll until you find what you want to try. Trying these new things may not be easy at first, but it’s worth sticking with them and seeing all you can do.
- Do Your Favorite Activities Even If You Are Alone
One of the hardest things during cuffing season is not having someone to do cute relationship things with, like baking Christmas cookies, watching Christmas movies, holiday shopping, etc. The thing is, no one ever said those had to be exclusively for couples. If you love baking Christmas cookies, turn on some Mariah Carey and start baking! Decorate the cookies and give them to friends and family or eat them all by yourself. If you love watching Christmas movies and drinking hot coco, put on your favorite pjs and watch those movies. Even though it sounds sad alone, when you are actually doing those actions, you will feel a sense of empowerment and self-sufficiency. You are your own built-in best friend that has always been there for yourself, so still do things that you love even if you are alone.
- Attend Therapy/Counseling
If you have the resources and availability, go to therapy or counseling. It can be an individual session, or even a group session. Many of the things that you struggle with, others do, too, and it’s okay to seek help or support! Mental health is so important and receiving help can help with the healing process and even open up our eyes to new experiences.
Many college campuses offer counseling services for students and it can be very beneficial. I recently started going and have already addressed so many topics and I am thankful that I can communicate with someone who can provide guidance for my stressors.
Link to SUNY Oswego Counseling Services
Bonus: If you can, spend time with your family.
Sometimes when we get caught up in our own lives, we forget to make time for those that love us. After my breakup, I chose to isolate myself and ended up giving up time that I could have spent with my siblings. When I was finally ready to open up again, my eight-year-old sister provided me with all the love that her little heart could give. We had movie nights, danced in the rain, and she made me laugh when I would unexpectedly cry. I also made sure to actually start conversations or facetime with my family when I could so that they knew I cared about them. Even though I was in some pain, I didn’t want to ignore them and be a source of their pain. While siblings and parents may make us irritable, sometimes they can help in their own quirky ways.
One of the most important things throughout this whole process is making sure you fully feel your emotions and understand that you have a right to feel what you feel and that healing takes time. Losing a friendship/relationship can take a toll on our mental and physical health, but it’s important to fight and provide love for yourself. We tend to grow when we are focused on committing to ourselves and I have faith in anyone reading this!
I am sending love to all of those in need and I hope you are able to still enjoy these upcoming holidays <3