One of the many questions that I found myself pondering this summer was, “Does any of it really matter?” Now, I’m aware that this is a broad question, but I also know I’m not the only one who has asked it.
Earlier this summer, my family suffered a loss that weighed on all of us. A loss we weren’t expecting to be mourning so soon. It raised not only grief among all of us, but some of us questioned why. Not just why our family member had passed, but why we had these experiences in the first place since they ended so abruptly one day. The world exists but its existence has never been defined, nor has our existence truly been defined. Not quite in the evolutionary sense, but in the poetic sense. What is the driving force that keeps society in a relatively normal manner? If we are destined to end, why do we even begin? This question was something I pondered as the loss of my great-grandmother weighed on me. It was quite difficult to imagine a reason why life connects us with the most amazing people in the universe, and then disconnects us without any warning. I went to bed one night pondering summer plans with friends waking up the next day and starting the grieving process. I questioned that for almost 2 months. The why, that explained the what. I emptied my mind to obsess over it and inquire what the meaning of life really is in its entirety, its agony, its love, the good & the bad. Instead, all I could come up with was an answer that didn’t fulfill the entire question but put it to rest for a while. I may not know why I’m here or why things happen, but I am and they do. That was the only true solution I could fathom to my question.
Another realization I had was that things may only be temporary because if everything was repeatable and ongoing and everlasting, everything would lose meaning, wouldn’t it? A conversation I shared with a friend in the middle of the night about life, that can’t be replicated, nor will that exact precise conversation happen ever again. Does that mean that I wish I had never had that conversation? Of course not. What it really meant was the conversation was so much more special to me. Then I put it into perspective, can’t the same be said about the people we love? No real explanation for why things happen, just the gratitude that they do. Can that be truly enough to move forward? The knowledge that no matter where we’re standing, life as we know it could change at any point, so there’s no better location to reside in than the moment. There’s also the acknowledgment that our actions do have meaning. There are consequences to our actions, because the very real, very important impact of what we do has an effect on society. Personally, I still haven’t answered whether or not God is real, or where we go when we pass away, but I have learned it isn’t for nothing. Impact outweighs intentions sometimes. Plus, the reminder that we don’t last forever here on this earth drives some of us to create a fulfilled life.
The reason I feel the necessity to sit down and put this article together is that I know I’m not the only one who can benefit from the assurance that if we truly had no meaning, and if nothing mattered, we most likely wouldn’t be here. The unknown and impermanence of life is always gonna be a part of being human. But as I’ve looked back on the memories I have made with my family and friends, I feel an overwhelming sense of comfort. Comfort that even if relationships don’t last forever, and neither does life, the lessons we learn and the memories we make always will. Another lesson I’ve learned is that we can’t alter the past, but we can stand still, take a deep breath, and keep moving forward. All I want people to know and to take from this article, as we begin a new semester or a new chapter of the year, is that we can’t alter the past, nor can we explain the true philosophical meaning of our presence on this earth.
But we can absolutely use our limited time on this planet to enjoy the ride.