So it’s 10:15on a Wednesday night, and I’m using everyone’s favorite procrastination tool: Facebook. I decide to go on the Guy-I-Was-Sorta-Kinda-Dating-Sorta-From-Last-Semester’s page. Mind you, this is always a mistake. Especially at 10:15 on a Wednesday night.
He and I had a weird sort of situation. We didn’t start really seeing each other until late in the semester, and ended up really enjoying each other’s company. We hated the same things, and we’re both into the same weird stuff. But he was transferring to a school far downstate, and I was (clearly) staying up here. We had made plans to meet over the summer that had fallen through (on my behalf) and settled on writing letters and sending mixed CDs back and forth. We ended up seeing each other toward the end of August when I was in Oswego, and he hadn’t left yet. And it was great- in an awkward, “Hey! We were sleeping together, and I haven’t really heard from you!” sort-of way.
Moving on.
He left, and we chatted a bit more in the following weeks. It was nice. And it was sort of awkward. And then I just stopped hearing from him. And honestly- I hadn’t really done anything to warrant that.
I haven’t thought much of it- I’ve been busy with school, and my job, and life. So back to Wednesday at 10:15 when I went on his Facebook. And I saw that one thing all girls dread. All the girls who were the other part of the Sorta-Kinda-Dating-Sorta situation.
“In a Relationship <3”
Wait, what? If I recall correctly, you were in my bed not even a month ago. It hasn’t been two weeks since we’ve last talked. And you’re in a relationship? A Facebook Offical (referred to as FBO from this point forward) relationship? What?
So granted, I did as most girls in my situation do: put on a Carole King record, start drinking Sangria and text your best friend.
Well, instead of Sangria, I started writing this.
Anyway, this whole thing really got me thinking. We really let these FBO romances define us, don’t we? I mean, what’s the first question we ask when a relationship is rumored?
“Are they FBO?”
And if they aren’t FBO and you’re into the guy, it’s totally fair game. Even though he might be in a perfectly functioning relationship it’s completely acceptable if you “poke” him. Actually- poking is never completely acceptable. But you could totally send him a friend request.
And then, it starts a whole new set of arguments and obstacles for those actually in a relationship- or a Sorta-Kinda-Dating-Sorta relationship. Instead of meeting your parents, it’s about whether or not you’re In a Relationship<3 on Facebook. It’s about defining your relationship, which half the time is indefinable anyway, on a social networking site. In a sense, it has become our generation’s version of “getting pinned”- something for all to see.
Because it’s a necessity for all of us to know you’re sleeping together.
Then there’s the FBO breakup. Now, if you break up with your boyfriend, or vice versa- everyone knows about it… almost immediately. And if he changes his Relationship Status first, you feel like an asshole, and you cry about it and put on that Carole King record and grab that bottle of wine and get super sappy again and text your best friend again and then…
Moving on.
So I guess really my question is, why do we do it? Why do we find the need to broadcast who we’re “Complicated” with? Are we letting potential suitors know? Or the girls that would like to be “poking” your boyfriend?
The truth is, we’re all slaves to the social network. Not that this is a bad thing- but when it’s 10:15 on a Wednesday night and you go on that Guy-You-Were-Sorta-Kinda-Dating-Sorta-From-Last-Semester’s Facebook and you see that he’s In a Relationship<3 – it’s the worst.
So what do we do about it?
In my opinion, when those moments happen I would like to seek out Mark Zukerberg and punch him in the jugular- but this isn’t an option. But maybe we could stop thinking so far into this whole thing. I mean… it’s just a relationship status. Right?