In the month of October, there are a few special days that mark our calendar: Indigenous People’s Day (i.e. Columbus Day), Halloween and, one of my favorites, National Cat Day (Oct. 29). In the LGBTQIA+ community, however, October 11th is their National Coming Out Day, the day that those in the community celebrate their coming out in positive ways. October, otherwise known as OUTober, is such a widespread event in the community that many people don’t know what the acronym LGBTQIA+ stands for any more. In particular, the letter A seems to cause quite a debate; some argue that it stands for “ally,” while many in the community itself assert that it stands for “aromanticism and asexuality,” while for others it stands for “agender.” But what the h*ll is an asexual? Or an aromantic? Are they really even a thing?
The short answer is yes, they are. Asexuality, an umbrella term, is defined as an individual who experiences little to no sexual attraction to anything or anyone. Likewise, an aromantic is an individual who experiences little or no romantic attraction to anything or anyone. Simple, yes? Of course, a bit like bisexuality, asexuals and aromantics can often times be “grey,” meaning they on occasion lean one way or another on the spectrum.
“But,” says Joe Schmoe, “that just means they are choosing not to date or sleep with anyone! It’s like celibacy or something!”
Sorry, Joe, but that’s where you are wrong. Asexuals and aromantics are just like any other orientation; they can no more choose to be sexually disinterested than a heterosexual chooses to be with the opposite gender. They simply are!
Currently, according to the LGBTQ page at Williams College, there are estimates that only one percent of the population are asexual, whereas there is little data to be said for those who are aromantic. Overall, there are still very small amounts of research done on aromanticism and asexuality. As it is currently, asexuality and aromanticism is low on the radar for the LGBTQIA+ community and those who support it.
Still not convinced that asexuals and aromantics are real? In pop culture, there have already been a few breaks for those who are asexuals. Tim Gunn of “Project Runway” has since said in an interview with People that he has “always been kind of asexual.” The character Valentina Dunacci of the TV comedy Sirens has had an episode surrounding her asexuality. And while there is very little mention of aromanticism, hopefully in years to come we’ll see great progress being made.