Halloweekend has passed and so have too many hands. It would seem that along with the people who came out this weekend there were also those who, drunkenly or soberly, do not understand that other people’s bodies are not theirs to grope. After discussing the weekend with many of my girl friends, it seems that being felt up and grabbed have become normalized, even “unnoticeable” for some.
Just this past Saturday night, I tallied five guys who decided to put their hand up my skirt just in passing. Apparently, being squished because of overcrowding is a plausible excuse to just slide your hand up and grab my butt. Then there are the four guys from the pregame who continued to either grab my waist or take it upon themselves to harass my guy friends. One of my guy friends, dressed as a carton of milk for Halloween, was scanned over by two of them after I escaped their toxic grips. Then I was pulled over only to be told things like, “You know milk isn’t good for you,” “Milk is fattening and spoils.” Then there was one, and long story short, I ended my Saturday night hiding behind a dumpster, in the rain, because “No” is apparently not understood by some people.
The problem is not just my night’s experience, but the common responses of “That kind of stuff happens at parties and at the bars, you’ll get used to it,” and other reactions implying that this is behavior to be anticipated.
When it comes down to it, it feels like this should be common sense, global respect, but it’s not. That is why on a daily basis there is cat calling and physical displays of violation and harassment. Regardless of how often this occurs, it is never acceptable. And saying, “No” does not make you the bad guy. You should continue to hold the right to protect your body and the right to wear whatever you please because no one should have the power over you to tell you otherwise. There will never be a valid excuse for someone to grab you or vocally harass you. Whether you are at a bar or a library, whether you are wearing a skirt or jeans, whether you are in a crowded place or a quiet place, your body is your own.
Normalizing this behavior has to stop. No one should be used to having personal space violated. If you do not want to be touched, you should not have to worry about being grabbed. Go out and have fun, and do not be afraid to say, “No.”