Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Oswego chapter.

My past self sits in the next room over, 

just through the open doorway. 

Somehow I stand at the threshold,

my feet, boards, amongst the wooden floors, 

unable to be pried up. My eyes burn

as if my tears have dried up, but 

the pool behind them is still full. 

I want to drown that room in them, 

throw bucket after bucket in, 

hauling out my own sinking ship

until she can swim 

and float over within my reach. 

I would clutch her cold arms 

and pull her to my heart, 

holding her to me

like a newborn baby.

As though she may just

slip away, like the past year has 

dissipated into a space in my head. 

There are no memories there, 

only the sudden realization that 

I am someone new.

Who I was sits in that empty room.

I am no longer her, 

but she has become me, 

but still I cannot see 

how that came to be.

It all feels like some dream 

that I wake up remembering, 

but as soon as I rise from bed,

it’s gone just as quickly. 

Where did the past year go, 

and how can I ever know 

that I will be okay?

Allyson is currently pursuing a Bachelor's degree at SUNY Oswego, and is a double major in English and Broadcasting with a minor in Spanish. She is the CC of her college's chapter of Her Campus, as well as the Secretary of the Women's Club Ice Hockey team. She hopes to one day become an author of fiction novels and collections of poetry. When she is not writing or on the ice she enjoys spending her time reading, hiking, and watching anime.