I don’t mean to be a total creep but I think about marriage at least 10x a day. And not like, what dress I’m going to wear or if I should grow my hair out for an up-do, or what kind of flowers my bridesmaids will be holding. I think about what the hell is going to happen after all of that.
Granted, I love all those wedding shows on TLC. At one point in my life I considered myself basically obsessed. However, I tend to gravitate more towards shows like “House Hunters,” where new and old couples go on the hunt for a first or new home. To me, that show is a test of how well these couples are actually going to hold up in the long run. For instance, if the wife is going to whine about what the kitchen sink looks like, and you can tell her husband has had enough of her by the time they’re looking at the guest bedroom in the second house- it’s safe to say they’ll probably be divorced within the next five years.
Seriously though- think about it. The wedding itself I’m sure is wonderful- a flower girl, your mother crying, your brother getting really drunk and making inappropriate gestures to your new husbands (too) young cousin. But what about after the cake is cut? Why aren’t there any reality shows about that? That’s what I’m worried about.
Like, what if my husband can’t handle my weird little personal habits? Like taking breaks from writing and grooming my eyebrows for 10 minutes at a time? Or what if he hates the face wash I use? What if we don‘t like the same bedroom furniture? Is this why the divorce rate in America is so high, because the couple cannot successfully choose a hand soap together?
I hope to God that whatever poor sap marries me (if a poor sap marries me) that he understands that I’m really weird about laundry detergent and dryer sheets. Maybe that could be a new mandatory vow:
“I promise to honor and uphold your weird personal habits and will not question you twice about them.”
I guess what it comes down to (once again) is that I’m just a neurotic 20 year old who loses sleep over these things. But doesn’t every other girl worry about it too? And if they’re not worrying about it they should. Screw the centerpieces- start to plan the rest of your life first.