Isolation, sacrifice, darkness, and yearning are four words that I would use to describe Omar Apollo’s new EP, Live For Me. The singer released his EP on Oct. 6, 2023, explaining that it contains “4 songs that I hold very close to me” in an Instagram post. This extremely personal project details challenging times in the singer’s life. Within these four songs, the listener sees a glimpse of Apollo’s past. While the songs come off as an easy and mellow listen, the lyrics and meaning behind these tracks hold truth to so many and are stories we can all learn from. This EP serves as a light in the darkness and is a way to reconcile with this past and move on.
The EP begins with “Ice Slippin,” the single for this project, originally released on Aug. 25, 2023. This track revisits thoughts he had when he came out to his family. According to Uproxx, the singer explained in a press release that he was, “receiving cold judgment as opposed to the acceptance I felt I deserved. This song is a reflection and reaction of all the emotions I had to face before and after I decided to leave the icy streets of Indiana.” In the chorus, the singer expresses, “When you comin’ home? Home is where you supposed to be. Turn around, it’s not too late, did I hurt you? … If I take back my words, would you return to me?” The chorus is what Apollo wanted to hear from his family. In reality, Apollo’s family had turned a cold shoulder and didn’t accept his sexuality. Unfortunately, this is a common experience among many young members of the LGBTQ+ community. Many of us want to be loved and accepted for who we are, but unfortunately, we face disapproval and isolation. The first verse depicts a scene of driving on snowy roads and the windows covered in ice. The snowy roads could indicate the relationship between him and his family. Since snow is slippery, Apollo may feel that if he expresses himself, the relationship will continue to strain. The car window being unable to thaw shows that his family was unwilling to change their ways and acknowledge the truth. Similarly, the pre-chorus explains, “And you thought what you said would be for the best. But instead, it broke me down.” These lyrics acknowledge that his family didn’t accept his sexuality at first. Many families will believe they have their child’s best interest at heart. However, the best interest can be rather hurtful and unsafe for them. Again, Apollo wanted to be loved and accepted with open arms but was met with disapproval. As the song progresses into the bridge, his thoughts seem to consume him, but he remains hopeful for the future. “Yeah, you ain’t got no real friends in your life, your life, your life. You gon’ feel better by the springtime.” Spring is a sign of hope and optimism. The sun is out for longer, leaving less time for darkness. It’s a sign of better days. Despite not getting the acceptance he thought he would receive, the singer is hopeful everything will be okay. In an Instagram story, which has expired, the singer stated “This song will always mean a lot to me. It was my first time not writing about romantic love. I spent so many years trying to piece together my infancy.” “Ice Slippin” is a song that explores wanting to be loved and ultimately not receiving any support or acceptance. However, although it may be difficult at the moment, one’s situation will become better.
The second track, “Live for Me,” is about selflessness, empathy, and sacrifice within a relationship. This song explores Apollo offering someone to continue living and save them from their own struggles. “There’s nothing I won’t carry, so you don’t have to,” Apollo is trying to express the desire for this person to remain alive. Apollo is willing to take on all of the burdens that this person is experiencing, a gesture of selflessness. In the pre-chorus, the singer expresses his confusion on why this person wants to face their challenges alone, and doesn’t reach out for help. While in the chorus, Apollo exclaims “Won’t you live for me? Or could I live for you?” Despite all that this person is experiencing, Apollo is trying to showcase that their relationship is enough of a reason to continue living. While Omar is trying to reason with this person, he also reflects on their relationship and regrets what he has done. “Never meant to hurt you with what I said … the color in my eyes is turnin’ red, eh.” Typically, when one cries their eyes turn red, suggesting that this is taking an emotional toll on Apollo. In an Instagram story, which is now unavailable, Omar explained “So many emotions and thoughts that lived deep in me I could only ever surface through writing. Sometimes conversation is too intimate for me.” He expressed that “Live for Me” started as a poem back in 2022 and that he’s thankful for those who helped him create the song. As the song comes to an end, a musical interlude fills the space. Perhaps it’s the singer acknowledging that the conversation is difficult for him, so he lets the music speak for itself. This interlude is rather hopeful, to me. It serves as a way to not only lift the song up, but also the person who this song is towards. “Live For Me” is Apollo’s way of explaining that he will always be there for anyone he loves, even if it’s not the best for their own well-being.
Next, “Angel” is probably the darkest song within this EP. In another Instagram story, the artist explained, “This was a dark time for me. I’ll let the song speak for itself. I don’t feel this way anymore but it was an important topic to let go and write about for me.” “Angel” explores a time in Apollo’s life when he would turn to substances to feel better. “Touch your nose, curve your spine” could be a reference to the drug cocaine, where it is common practice to snort the addictive substance. “Took fentanyl to melt his mind” is another reference to a highly addictive drug. While I don’t think Apollo used fentanyl, it’s a metaphor for the coping mechanisms he used during that period. It could be that instead of dealing with his inner demons and emotional burdens, drugs provided a temporary solution to “melt his mind” and numb the pain he was feeling. At the end of the first verse, the singer states, “You pray to God, I’ll pray to mine.” This lyric expresses the idea that during difficult times, most people turn to religion as a form of comfort; while Apollo would turn to drugs as his form of comfort. The chorus can be interpreted in different ways. “Too young to grow wings, too young to be an angel. Your mother needs you, your father needs you.” Perhaps the singer acknowledges that his actions are destructive and cause self-harm. Maybe he’s scared that he will die and is telling himself that his parents need him to keep living. However, he may also want guidance and protection from his parents. The chorus can signal that both his parents and Apollo need each other. In the second verse, Apollo is going through a rebellious phase, not listening and practicing his freedom. “Do what I want, see you tomorrow…Do what I want to go get high.” Yet, despite being alone, he describes his mom as being there for him. “Broke both arms, call my mom. She told me to just pray to God.” Here, we see a sense of unconditional love between family members. Although the singer may not have broken both his arms, it serves as a sign of a strain on the relationship. However, despite what was occurring, his mom was there for him and offered him guidance during this time. As the song progresses into the bridge, Apollo confesses the truth, explaining that he lied about his well-being. The bridge shows that the artist had a difficult time expressing himself, and lied about being in a good space. As the song closes, the chorus repeats a couple of times ultimately highlighting the idea that he needs guidance, comfort, and help.
The EP closes with the song “Pilot.” In an expired Instagram story, Apollo explained that it took two years to create this song. It took the artist a month to find the words for this song and he made seven versions of this track. This song explores a relationship where feelings weren’t reciprocated, with a romantic interest. The singer was willing to sacrifice certain aspects of his life for this relationship. “Diamonds blindin’ my eyes, wear all white on my chest like a snowman” could be Apollo trying to impress whomever he’s interested in. “Ride the bike with no hands, like a pole dance” is a metaphor for taking risks for this potential love interest. As the song transitions into the chorus and bridge, Apollo grows fond of suffering for this person. “Sufferin’ for you is growin’ on me … The club got me up, I miss you, I miss you.” Apollo’s use of the club shows that even though he tried to distract himself with other people, he could not get this specific person out of his mind. As the song continues, the listener comes across the pilot metaphor, introducing the idea that Apollo is in control of his own love interests and emotions, he can change the direction in which this relationship is heading. However, Apollo isn’t as in control as he appears to be. “Drivin’ home drunk kinda buzzed on my birthday. Eyes on God and my boss like a curly.” These lyrics show the lack of direction and emphasize that he’s not dealing with his emotions healthily. As the song concludes, the listeners realize that Apollo is suffering but will not help himself. He continuously acknowledges his pain but continues to chase after this person. In the end, he recognizes the pain he has experienced but slowly begins to accept the reality and heal from it.
Live For Me is one of my favorite projects by Omar Apollo. While leaning into discomfort, Apollo can’t only accept his past but also leave it behind. His stories and experiences may not align with his current situation, but they act as an inspiration for many. The intimate project allowed the world to see who Omar Apollo is. He’s being himself with full transparency and is a role model for many today. These four songs allow fans to relate their
experiences with Apollo. This mellow record uses alternative R&B, alternative pop, neo-soul, and other genres to successfully tell his story. Apollo uses autotune as a tool to convey his emotions and explain the bittersweet and melancholic ballads. On the day of release, the singer took to Instagram, in a now-expired story, “Happy I get to realize something short but meaningful to end the year. This is only the beginning. These songs have been done for a long time and felt transitional for what’s to come.”
Omar Apollo is an artist who has grown on me throughout the years and continues to impress me with every project he releases. It’s comforting to listen to his music, find similarities, and be able to relate to someone. I’ve spent the past week with this EP on repeat and these songs have continued to impress me with each listen. I’m excited to see what he will release next.