As final exams are approaching (and your semester grades finalizing), it can be easy to fall into the “woe is me” trap. Discussion across campus about the impending wreckage of finals usually takes the shape of one of two forms: 1. I just need a _____% to keep my grade or perhaps the more ubiquitous one, 2. Wait, when are finals? Regardless of which category you may fall into, an impending sense of anxiety may plague you as you calculate the trajectory of your life’s misfortunes and curse every discipline in existence (with special attention given to your general education requirements no doubt). But as the old adage goes, “misery loves company,” misery also loves depressing books to remind you that your lot in life could be a lot worse, like those of some of our favorite literary characters.
Here are 8 books that are more depressing than your finals.
1. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Jane’s parents die and she is left to live with her wicked aunt and cousins. She is repeatedly tortured by her cousins and is sent off to Lowood School where her friend Helen dies in her arms. She later becomes governess at Thornfield Hall where she meets her future husband Mr. Rochester. After a series of unfortunate events and a run-in with Rochester’s crazy wife, Bertha (you know, the classic crazy wife trope) who lights the house on fire, Jane marries Mr. Rochester who is left blinded and severely injured by the fire (and by severely injured I mean his hand was lost, well, incinerated is more accurate). As it turns out, there are worse fates than failing your calculus final, like being blinded and marrying a man who never told you his wife was still alive, enjoys pyrotechnics, and is residing in the attic.
2. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Esther, a 19-year-old college student, gets an internship at a magazine in New York City. All is fine and dandy until Esther falls into a cycle of depression that leads to her eventual commitment to a mental hospital. She likens her life to the disquieting image of being trapped in a bell jar, something far worse than being trapped in a classroom for a finite amount of time to take your sociology final.
3. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Do you know the feeling of hugging someone so tight that the uncomfortable silence that befalls the two of you is interrupted by a “can you please let go?” motion? Me neither. But in Steinbeck’s novel, that’s exactly what happens, except the lovable village idiot Lennie accidentally kills rabbits and other soft creatures after squeezing them too tightly. If that image wasn’t upsetting enough, his good old’ pal George shoots him at the end of the book after Lennie accidentally kills his employer’s son’s wife. Be thankful Steinbeck didn’t chronicle your final.
4. Every Bronte novel ever written
Because if Jane Eyre wasn’t enough, there’s also Wuthering Heights.
5. The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Edna is trapped in a loveless marriage (this may seem reminiscent of you and the GE course you are taking) and the constraints placed on women of her time. The solution after pandering around with various men and resigning herself to her life’s monotony and misfortune? Throwing herself into the ocean. And by throwing, I mean swimming until she tires and then drowns.
The only thing that should be thrown into the ocean is your finals study guides—I would caution against this however. Metaphorical throwings on the other hand are permissible.
6. Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Not technically a book, but sad nonetheless.
The depressing tidbit is in the title, but upon closer inspection, could be emblematic of a failed business or communication major’s final. Just kidding. But wait, is your name Willy Loman?
7. A Separate Peace by John Knowles
Ah yes, it’s one of those kinds of novels, the kind replete with biblical allusions and a boy that is burdened with the name Phineas. But not to worry, Phineas or “Finny’s” unfortunate namesake comes to a close after his best friend Gene pushes him out of a tree causing him to break his leg. Finny later falls down a marble staircase and dies after complications from surgery. Cue the loss of innocence theme music, which, is different than your summer break playlist (one might hope).
8. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Before we approach this melancholy crescendo, let’s set the record straight: 1. Frankenstein is the doctor, not the creature, 2. The creature is not green he is yellow, and 3. The creature is not an unintelligible monster who speaks using a lexicon composed of a random smattering of keyboard letters like “sdfjaskldfajskdlf.”
The creature is in fact, more intelligent than the average college student (amount of times he uses the word “sick:” 0), which makes it all the more sad when he is abandoned by every human and even his own creator, causing him to wreak havoc on those he loved. The takeaway: Don’t judge a monster by its cover. Yes, this includes your final exams too.