From 6:00 PM until forever, night classes are painfully slow. We’ve all been there, and we’ve all experienced the pain, hunger, exhaustion, and deep, unending despair. All I know is that when 8:30 finally rolls around, I’m out of there like the devil in confession. Can I get an amen?
1. “Tonight is the night. I really like this class and this professor and I WILL pay attention. I will NOT fall asleep. I have coffee, and I am READY.”
2. “I’m sitting front and center. That will FORCE me to pay attention.”
3. “This isn’t so bad. I’m making so much eye contact with the professor, though. I’ll just pretend to take notes.”
4. “Good God, was that my stomach making that noise? I should have eaten dinner before class. Oh god, the kid next to me heard it. Shut up, stomach. Shutupshutupshutup.”
5. “Just drink coffee. You can do it. Just drin—IT’S GONE? IT CAN’T BE GONE ALREADY. IT’S ONLY 6:25.”
6. “Okay. Don’t panic. Do. Not. Panic. You will be fine. Just give it a few minutes for the caffeine to hit”
7. “Wow, my eyelids feel so heavy. Are they always this heavy? I think I have a disease.”
8. “FOCUS. Just pay attention to what the professor is saying and takes some notes. Class will breeze by if you pay attention.”
9. “Whew, five pages of notes! That was awesome! It must nearly be time for the break—WHAT? THAT WAS ONLY 15 MINUTES? ARE YOU JOKING? I’m going to die here, aren’t I?”
10. *soul-crushing despair*
11. “Thank GOD, it’s time for the break, I can’t wait to—wait, what? You want to WHAT? Skip the break and end early? HELLLLLL NO. I WANT MY BREAK. I HAVE EARNED THIS BREAK. GIVE ME THIS BREAK OR GIVE ME DEATH. I WILL FLIP A TABLE.”
12. “I can’t believe we didn’t have a break.”
13. “Eyes…so…heavy…resistance…slipping….”
14. “HhumGgnpnggZz w-what? N-no, I wasn’t sleeping. I was…resting my eyes…Oh my god is that drool?”
15. “The professor totally saw me sleeping. Ugh, whatever, I hate this class anyway.”
16. “I must be literally in some sort of gravitational phenomena because there is no way time is actually moving this slowly.”
17. “Five. Minutes. FIVE. GODFORSAKEN. MINUTES.”
18. “FREEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMM!!!!!”
19. “That wasn’t so bad. See you guys next week!”
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