“She’s prettier than me. She’s skinnier than me. She’s more popular than me.” I catch myself scrolling through her Instagram account again. As sick to my stomach as I feel, for some reason, I can’t click away. “What made him choose her over me?” I wonder. For the rest of the day I feel uneasy and on edge. I’ve moved on, but I keep comparing myself to the new girl he’s dating.
Nothing is more relatable to a girl than the negative feelings that come with seeing your ex move on. You experience a whirlwind of emotions that are overwhelming and draining. Let all of those negative thoughts go and replace them with these:
1.Newer ≠ better
No, your ex did not upgrade. The person that they are dating now is not necessarily smarter, prettier, or kinder than you are. Just like you and your other girl friends, everyone is different and has their individual strengths and weaknesses. As the saying goes, you can’t judge a book by its cover. Be confident in yourself and do not make comparisons.
2. They didn’t “win”
It was not a race to get into a new relationship so you definitely didn’t “lose.” How quickly or slowly you get into a relationship isn’t a measure of how desirable you are. As I mentioned in my breakup article, there is no rush to get into a new relationship when an old flame dies out. Do not lower your standards for someone who will not make you happy in the long run. Take some time to be happy by yourself!
3. This doesn’t erase what you two had
Your ex’s new significant other is not your replacement. Your relationship was unique and it cannot be replicated or interchanged with someone else’s—ever. You will always be the first person to take him to his favorite restaurant or to introduce him to your favorite show. No matter how badly the relationship ended, your memories can never be taken away.
4. You are beautiful
It’s true. Don’t let anyone tell you or make you think any differently.
Breakups are not fun and watching your ex move on is even less enjoyable. As someone who has gone about this process the wrong way, my best advice is to try to not to let it affect your happiness or your behavior. Put down your phone and go out with your girlfriends, get a haircut, or pick up take out and host a movie night just for you. You can and will get through this.
Link: 1
Photo: 1