Four Reasons Third Wheeling Sucks (& Ways To Avoid Being One)

It may be the Sex and the City craze, but right now I really enjoy being single. Personally, at this point in my life, I can sum up in one quote why a relationship would not work out, “Ain’t nobody got time for that.” However, I am not jealous or bitter when my friends are in relationships.  In fact, some are such great couples it gives me hope, until I run into the cringing “we” and “want to come along?” couple. You may have had your own personal experiences with this always-together couple. They may say something along the lines such as, “We love this movie, want to join?” or “We want to eat at this restaurant, come with.” Whenever I am cornered into hanging out with this couple after running out of lame homework excuses, the image of a spy trying to bend his body to avoid tripping lasers to break out of a building comes to mind. I know I may come off a bit crazy, however let me explain why this couple annoys me.

1. When said couple does ask me to hang out, it’s usually out of pity. “Oh, are you sure you want to just lay low tonight, you can come with us?” I didn’t realize staying in on a night caused alarm for me being lonely. Dear Beyoncé, please “ring the alarm” for Prince Charming to come whisk me away on a Wednesday night and take me out to Red Oak, so I can understand what it’s like to be in love. (No offense to Red Oak, I love their food)
2. At times, it can be embarrassing and uncomfortable to be with this couple in public. They sit on the same side of the table (so annoying) or hold hands while you’re right next to them, almost like you’re tagging along. It can be even more awkward when they kiss, and you have to look away so you don’t seem like a creep. (What else can you do? Pop in between them and say, “Hey, so what’s going on?” Sometimes, they have their own inside jokes and you are unintentionally excluded from the conversation.
3. Apologies to anyone who has yet to see Bridget Jones, but it must be referenced. Your cute couple may also try to invite you to a “couple party.” (“Who has those?” you ask: crazy people.) Fine, I’m exaggerating. It may not be a couple party, but there are a significant amount of couples and you. Or even worse, a few singles. Then casually, your friend may introduce you to another rare single partygoer in the hopes sparks or a hookup may ignite, and then the stars can align (whichever you prefer).
4. The worst part of hanging out with your friend and her other half is if you can not seem to get along with this other half. As much as you try to be nice and keep a civil conversation going out of respect for your friend, the personalities don’t mesh.

If it comes to a point, where you can’t stand hanging out with them on your own anymore, here are some tips to graciously tell them.

1. Bring other friends. This is the easiest and in my opinion the most helpful in these situations. Bringing other friends allows you to not constantly be surrounded by the couple and allow them to branch out as well.
2. Suggest to your friend that you just want to hang out with her only. Say it’s a girls’ night or to meet up for lunch with a few friends from class.
3. This may seem like the simplest solution, but stop spending so much time with them. Clubs, sports, class: there is always something to keep you occupied and this couple understands that. Also, you have other friends and maybe other couple friends who are actually fun to hang out with. The break will also make it easier when the time comes to hang out with this couple again.
4. Talk to your friend and tell them sometimes it makes you uncomfortable. If they are reasonable enough, they will understand and tone their PDA down.

Hopefully HC readers, these tips will help you avoid being a third-wheel. If all else fails, I’ll be right there with you climbing out of a building like it’s a bad blind date.