To the freshman year me,
You have no idea what is waiting for you ahead. I understand that you already have envisioned what life has possibly ahead for you, however, I can promise you that nothing will prepare you for what will happen even in a year from now.
Not everything goes to plan. The place you thought you’d be won’t be the place you end up. It sounds really stressful, but everything happens for a reason. I know it will feel like the world is against you when things shake up. It will make you want to scream, cry or do both. And that’s ok. You should. I know in the past you’ve been afraid of showing any emotions, of showing any vulnerability, but it will become something you grow accustomed to.
Don’t worry, you got spared from having to do a complete 180 in terms of changing your major. You’re actually going to be lucky to say you fell even more in love with your major and add on another. There will be days where you wonder why you thought doing two majors was a good idea because of the number of readings you’ll have and papers needing to be typed. But hey, at least you didn’t do something real spontaneous like adding a triple major. Some people can definitely do that, the real academic superstars, but we both know we would’ve been crushed by the mammoth load of work.
However, I won’t lie and say that every day will be a good day. You’ll find yourself questioning the person you are and the people you surround yourself with. Some of them are just temporary in your life, and it will hurt when they or even you will walk away. There are people waiting to meet you who you will call your best friends and even your family, though. They are going to be your lifeline at two in the morning, the ones you laugh with at the tiniest of things and the ones who will motivate you to be the best version of yourself.
You also will experience your first true heartbreak, while learning what it means to be loved. You have such a good heart, and I know there are times you hate how open you are, but never lose that. It is your fatal flaw; embrace it. Each relationship will teach you something new about yourself.
Also, you are going to find power in your voice. For so long, you’ve been afraid of speaking up and standing up for what you believe in. You’ve been the cheerleader for all of your friends but you need to be a cheerleader for yourself. Three years from now, you are going to be a better advocate for the world, but more importantly yourself. You won’t even recognize who you are when looking back at past versions of yourself. And that’s the best part. You are going to become the person you always wanted to be. We even stop wearing makeup every day. Shocking, right?
There will be times of uncertainty, but I am here to promise you that it is going to work out. There are so many doors waiting to be opened for and by you and so many people waiting to meet you. If I had to do it all over again, I would. For now, get ready for the greatest adventure of your life. At last, so far, because I’m still trying to figure out what comes next myself.
With love,
Senior year me
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