After a night out, there is really only one place you can find me, other than sleeping in my bed: eating in McDonald’s with my friends. It’s become a habit, though a little more of a habit than I would like, but nonetheless I live for recapping my night with friends over lots and lots of fries. However, in my latest late-night food escapade, I found myself in a bit of a situation that I felt needed to be told, with a lesson to learn from it. My friend and I waited to order like we usually did, when all of a sudden we felt a hand on our shoulders belonging to a boy that was clearly intoxicated. “What do you guys want to order? Let me help,” he repeated over and over again. Since we were McDonald’s experts, we did not need nor want his help, so we hoped our silence would lead him to take a hint and walk away. We ordered and sat down far away from where he and his friends were sitting in hopes that he would leave us alone. To our dismay, he came over and tried speaking to us yet again, until the female security guard came over and told him to “leave these girls alone.” Finally we thought we could eat our fries and McDoubles in peace (#blessed). That was until he came back yet again, after our repeated efforts of ignoring him and the security guard’s request to just leave us alone. He motioned to my friend to move over in the booth to sit down, which she did out of shock, while giving me a look of annoyance and trying to ignore him. However, something inside of me started to burst, stemming from my uncomfortableness of his clearly unwanted presence, and off I went. I opened my mouth, and out came, in what I thought was a cool, calm, and collected manner, “You need to leave, now, no one wants you here, just leave.” Girl power, go girl, snaps and claps all around.
His response, you may ask? “There’s always the unattractive friend.” That was his response to me as I asked him to leave, the last of many different attempts to get him away, just so my friend and I could drunk eat in peace, without someone we did not want to be around us.
I’m publicizing this story for a few reasons. There’s the issue with a percentage of the male species jumping to a defense of degrading slurs when they feel their own masculinity is threatened, so they need others to feel the same way. However, my main reason for telling you all what happened to me is the fact that you need to stand up for yourself, and not feel guilty for doing it.
I get it, it’s hard. I have been in siutations where I have stayed quiet and hoped for the best. There is this stigma that telling someone to leave repeatedly is rude, especially someone of the opposite sex, and the only ways to get unwanted attention to stop is to say “I have a boyfriend,” pretend a friend or random male figure is your boyfriend or can be the one to tell the unwanted male attention to leave, or ignore what is going on until they give up and walk away. However, when you think about it, isn’t pushing your presence on someone when you’re not wanted equally as rude, if not more rude? According to an article published on The Washington Post, “More than half of men in the United States think sexism is over… asked whether women face significant obstacles in the workplace and beyond, 56 percent say they no longer do, compared to 41 percent who say the barriers persist.” If I’m experiencing acts of sexism in a McDonald’s late on a Thursday night, imagine the other areas where sexism still exists.
I was not only shocked by what I said to this boy, but I was even more shocked by the fact that I didn’t care about what he said. I was thankful I was put in a situation like this that made me realize I have a deep-rooted confidence and a voice that I was able to use in an uncomfortable situation. However, these should not be rare qualities that a female has, let alone anyone. Whether it’s in a McDonald’s late at night or walking down the street in the middle of the day, if you feel uncomfortable or are in a situation where you are being talked to and pursued by someone you do not want to be around, say it. Speak your mind, stand up tall, and be loud about it. Instead of being sorry, be proud. There is no fault in being confident, and I think spreading this message by me sharing my story can work towards changing the current attitude and actions currently used in situations similar to mine. As one of my favorite poets Rupi Kaur once said, “I was not made with fire in my belly to be put out.” Always remember you have a voice to use, and never hesitate to use it when you need to.
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