You dated someone who you thought was The One. He was sweet, intelligent, good-looking, and he laughed at your bad jokes. Then you found out that he cheated on you – every weekend. Or maybe he thought it was okay to hit you when he was angry. Or maybe he made you do something you didn’t want to do. There are a lot of things that can go wrong in a relationship, and often times, such relationships do not end well. You come out of it feeling sad, worthless, unattractive, lonely, and a plethora of other nasty feelings. You feel stuck but the world keeps going. School, work, friends, homework, parents, break, tests, applications, fairs, clubs – the list goes on forever. You want to move on, but it’s really hard and you aren’t sure how to do it. Here are some tips that may help!
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If you feel like you can’t get yourself out of this rut or you start having thoughts of hurting yourself (or others), please visit the Counseling Center located on the second floor of the Health Center in Nordenberg Hall. Staff members at the Counseling Center are very understanding and can help you recover faster.
1. Delete your ex from social media and change you profile picture
This may be the toughest part, especially if they cheated on you. Have a close friend be with you as you delete AND BLOCK them from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, and any other networking site that you can think of. You will feel relieved once you’ve done it and you won’t have to be reminded of them every time you log into Facebook. Delete all the pictures you have together and change your profile picture. In other words, delete your ex from your online life.
2. Block their number
Girl, do not text them. Don’t. Do. It. Block their number. Most phone companies will let you do this for free and iPhones have the feature programmed into them. You aren’t getting back together and why would you let someone who hurt you so badly contact you? Whenever you feel the urge to text them, text your friend instead and they’ll send you encouraging words!
3. Put everything in a box
You have their sweatshirt and 23 pictures of you guys together and their mix CD and a stuffed animal from the amusement park and a million other things that make you think of that once-special person. Here’s what you do: get a box, put everything in the box, tape the box up, and when you’re ready, light the past on fire. Literally and figuratively.
4. Do things that you like to do
When you are in a relationship, you spend most of your time with that person and you don’t get much time to yourself. Now that you are single, you can go back to doing the things you really enjoy. Remember that sketchbook you used to draw in? Remember the TV shows you used to watch? Remember girls’ night? Now you have time to do all of these things that you love.
5. Confide in others
When you keep things to yourself, you feel like you’re the only person dealing with the problem. You feel alone, like no one can relate to you or help you. When you talk to other people, often times, they know how it feels and it helps knowing that someone else has faced the same difficulties that you are now facing. Next time you feel down or overwhelmed, talk to a relative or friend and see if you feel better afterwards. Trust me, you will.
6. Visit a counseling center
Sometimes you need more than kind words. Depression is real illness, and if you experience weeks or months of sadness that you can’t seem to escape, talking to a doctor, psychiatrist, or psychologist can really help. They may prescribe you medicine to help your brain make the right amount of positive hormones again. Sometimes just talking to a professional can help you understand yourself, your thoughts, and your mixed-up feelings. Counselors also give really good tips and tricks to help you recover quickly.
7. Focus on something else
Try doing a section of math homework or go over your chemistry lab. If you don’t feel up to schoolwork, try reading a book or watching a movie (avoid ones solely about relationships). Even if you just hang out with a friend and talk and laugh, it can help you take your mind off of your past hurt. And once you let it go, moving on to healthier and happier times will feel much easier.
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