No matter if it’s an old friend, a family member or anyone else you care about, cutting somebody off can feel impossible. How do you decide when the right time is? When is enough, enough? These decisions require honesty, both with yourself and others. Here are some things to consider when you’re thinking about cutting someone out of your life.
Why do you still want them around? Sometimes we are afraid to let things go because they are familiar. This person may have been by your side through some of your most difficult moments. Maybe they’re family and cutting them off will cause some uncomfortable situations. Cutting someone out of your life doesn’t mean you don’t care about them anymore, it means you’ve decided to care about yourself more.
How do they make you feel? Recognizing that you’re caught in a toxic situation can be difficult and hindsight is 20/20. Someone may make you feel better about yourself because they give you attention. It is easy to get wrapped up in someone who makes you feel important. Maybe someone makes you feel worse when they talk to you but you feel guilty because they seem to need your help. Take the time to peel back the layers of your relationship with this person and figure out if your relationship is based on a mutual enjoyment of spending time together or if you’re making excuses for them.
When do they talk to you? Some people have a really tricky habit of only showing up when they need you. They know that you’ll respond because you feel compelled to help them and they can take advantage of that. Cutting these people off can be difficult because they will likely point out everything they’ve ever done for you. If someone only wants to talk to you when they need something or if they make you feel guilty about trying to step away from them to help yourself, run like the wind.
What made you consider cutting them off? Chances are, something’s happened that’s making you question this person and their role in your life. Determine why you feel like it’s something you need to do. Are you willing to confront them about what’s troubling you? Do you think they’d be responsive to making changes? If not, it may be time to let them go.
Making these decisions are difficult, but at the end of the day, only you can know what’s best for you. Stand up for yourself.
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