I’ve always considered myself to be the kind of person that “lives in the moment.” I am just not sure how all of the moments that comprised the last four years passed by so quickly. I still remember with absolute clarity the day my parents bid me their final farewell on the first day of freshman year. The weather was hot, muggy, and overcast – the summer standard here at Pitt. This explains the frizzy mess depicted in the picture on my school ID. What that shiny piece of plastic doesn’t quite capture however, is the crazy mixture of emotions that I, and every freshman feels before embarking upon the undergrad adventure. Now, as I sit in the living room of my charmingly sketchy South Oakland apartment, one week away from graduation, I can’t help but reflect upon the past four years – the lessons I’ve learned, the people I’ve met, the memories I’ve made and the ones I’ll never quite remember. For those who have yet to complete their journey, I hope this nostalgic retrospective might serve as a guide; and for those for whom “real-personhood” is similarly looming – perhaps you’ll find some resonance in these lessons-learned.
Freshman year:
1. Making friends takes time.
If there’s one thing that sticks out most about freshman year, it’s the social aspect. Every day involved meeting new people– seriously, it never ended, and it was exhausting. I couldn’t so much as walk to the communal bathroom of the 5th floor of Holland South without having to stop and say hi to a squadron of LAX chicks, or the perfectly primped members of the Pitt dance ensemble. Especially frustrating were the unattainably high standards of #squadgoals, #baes and #WCWs set by social media. Where do I fit in? Should I join Greek life? Where do I have to rush to exactly? These were the kinds of questions that flooded my mind, as I felt the mounting pressure to make friends, and experience what so many called college (to my confusion, back then) “the time of their lives.” Looking back, I see clearly: friendships take time. They are founded in chemistry and are built off of shared experiences. Freshman year is filled with meeting TONS of people you will never talk to again – and that can definitely be frustrating. But the ones that stick – those will be with you for life.
2. Drinking makes you fat
College is a time for firsts. First lecture halls, first relationships, and of course – first frat parties: the pinnacle of the freshman year experience. Unfortunately, bad decisions are not the only consequence of shot-gunning seven Natty lites. Here’s a fun fact I learned freshman year: one beer has about 120 calories. Add on three slices of Sorrento’s pizza and you’ve got yourself a closet full of tight-fitting skinny jeans. So, did I gain the freshman 15? Try 20. The take away: limit drinking to once a week (two times tops). Ok, three but you better hit the gym to make up for it. What? We’re in college!
3. So does market
Say no to pizza. Say yes to the salad bar. Say sometimes to ice cream. Say “Mom, can you please send me some REAL food please?” That is all.
4. Try everything, but stick to at least one thing
It’s hard to have foresight as a freshman (or a human), but eventually four years do come to a close, and the job hunt becomes real. I can attest to that. The opportunity to join any number of clubs and organizations – from The Frisbee Golf team to Krav Maga – is both awesome and overwhelming. However, as a senior with plenty of resume-building experience, I advise the following: find an organization you love, commit to it and give 110%.
5. It’s OK not to be OK
Overall, freshman year is fun, but it’s certainly not easy. And that’s OK. There is no shame in seeking help and guidance from your peers, or the counseling center at Student Health. One other thing: everybody is just as terrified as you are.
Sophomore year:
1. STUDY ABROAD
My sophomore year was defined by international experiences. The summer before the academic year began, I traveled to Russia with the University of Pittsburgh’s Summer Language Institute. Then in the winter I traveled to Israel on a Pitt sponsored trip to Israel, followed by a two-month internship in Tel-Aviv in the summer. The life lessons I learned from my time abroad are far beyond the scope of I what I could describe in a sentence or two. In sum: if you can – do it. It will change your life.
2. Don’t let boys/grades/peers define your worth
This lesson isn’t unique to sophomore year, but it’s one that I realized during this time in my undergraduate career. In an environment where we’re constantly being ranked – whether according to GPA, or on a scale from 1 to Megan Fox – it can become difficult to set to your own standards. This is hugely problematic and can lead to grave consequences. Validation should come from within. Lesson: trust, respect and love yourself.
3. On Market thanksgiving
It starts at 4:00 PM. Be there at 1:00 PM. Mentally and emotionally prepare for the food coma that will follow.
4. Explore Pittsburgh
Believe it or not, Pittsburgh includes more than just Oakland! Take advantage of public transportation and our few weekends of nice weather by EXPLORING your surroundings! Lawrenceville, Shadyside, Squirrel hill – this city is sprinkled with gems…Grab a buddy, go forth and ADVENTURE. You might even get an insta-worthy pic out of it.
5. It’s OK not to be OK (pt. 2)
Yup, Sophomore year’s not easy either. Again- that’s OK. It’s always OK not to be OK.
Junior year:
1. The mid-college career crisis
Last November, at the start of my junior year, I made the decision to embark upon the pre-med track. Yes. Me: the French and psychology dual major with a certificate in Russian and Eastern European studies and a penchant for the humanities. This was my mid-college career crisis – the moment where I finally confronted the fact that I was going to graduate in two years with one Arts and Sciences degree under my belt, and zero dollars in my pocket. Advice time: DO NOT FREAK. Life has this way of working itself out, as long as you commit to your passions and never stop striving for the best. Needless to say, I quickly detoured from the pre-med track.
2. Form unlikely friendships
The only way to grow is by expanding your perspective. The only way to expand your perspective is to surround yourself with people different from yourself. Those from other cultures, with other majors, those who have had other life experiences – talk to them. Be a sponge. Absorb the world.
3. Intern, network, etc.…
Résumé building tip number two: GPAs are something, but they’re hardly everything. The most effective way to ensure future job security (and to get some hands-on experience doing what you love to do) is by interning. Disclaimer: not all internships are awesome – but they do help with connections. Who knows? That mid-level associate you spent the summer shadowing could be the next Steve Jobs!
4. Look for untapped resources
I came to somewhat of a frustrating realization in my junior year: so much of what Pitt has to offer, I didn’t even know about! Whether this was because of laziness or poor PR, I am not sure. Regardless, a word to the wise: do your research. If you have an interest, chances are Pitt can accommodate it. These are only a FEW examples of the INCREDIBLE resources offered right here on campus.
a. Pitt arts: Free/discounted arts experiences, often accompanied by free food at fancy places!
b. HER CAMPUS: The best online publication on the planet (not biased or anything…)
c. The Honors College: As someone who aspires to work in the international arena, the Honors College has been an INVALUABLE resource.
5. It’s OK not to be OK (pt. 3)
Are you sensing a trend yet? I’ll say this: in my experience, every year of college has gotten better, but not necessarily easier. What you will find though, is that the network of people you can reach out to will become wider and more profound. The friends I have made in college guided me through the lows and helped me celebrate the highs. Everything will be OK, even if it isn’t now J
Senior year:
1. On closure…
Your senior year: possibly the last chance to say what’s been on your mind for the past four years. Whether it’s “I love you,” “I’m sorry” or “I never meant to say what I said” there is no better time to get reconcile any open-ended personal dilemmas. Unfortunately, closure is never a guarantee, but this is definitely one of those “if not now, when?” kinds of situations.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others:
“I am pleased to announce that I have officially accepted a position with…”: this phrase will take over your newsfeed in your senior year, and it will ruin your life (until you’re the one posting). Here’s one thing to remember: people don’t advertise their failures, and I can say from personal experience that life is chock FULL of ‘EM. Comparing yourself to others, especially based off of what you see on social media, is an exercise in futility.
3. The post-grad question mark
First thing I have to say: the job hunt is a job in itself. This year, I have devoted just as much time to school work as I have perusing USAJOBS.com, posting my resume on online bulletin boards and sending disingenuous “thank you” e-mails to countless entry-level job managers. That being said, here’s number two: it is OK not to have a job lined up right away! School takes up a TON of time, and you’ve got the rest of your life to work after you graduate. Number three: the job route is NOT the only route. Scholarships, fellowships, graduate school, the PEACE CORPS – these are all viable post-grad options.
4. Peter’s pub:
Not worth it.
5. It’s OK not to be OK (pt. 4)
Reinforcing this point one last time because it can’t be said enough! Things to remember: you are LOVED, you are UNIQUE, you are ENOUGH. These are lessons that may take a lifetime to sink in.
1,743 words and I’ve hardly scratched the surface. In the past four years, I’ve learned more than I could have ever imagined, and honestly, the most valuable lessons have been outside of the classroom. Now, I just want to say thank you and good luck.
Thank you to everybody who has been a part of my personal journey.
Good luck to everybody who’s still making their way through undergrad, and good luck to my all my fellow seniors in their future endeavors.
…And as ALWAYS, H2P.
All other photos were provided by writer.