We’ve all been there. There’s that super sweet little old lady professor who gives you a wide smile and says that giving homework in the first week of classes makes her feel like a bad person. We love that professor. But then, barely a few days later, she’s replaced by a veritable dragon. She storms into the classroom hissing under her breath, claws out, marking big fat Xs on assignment after assignment. Looks like someone had a bad weekend, huh? What happened to Professor Sunshine?
Here are some of the many faces of a college professor (some far prettier than others), and how to deal with the drama that tends to ensue.
1. The Angel
Usually everyone’s favorite professor, the Angel is generous with their smiles and laughs. There’s usually not a lot of grumbling when it’s time for their class. There might even be no homework!
How to Deal: Just soak it all in; it probably won’t last for very long.
2. The Grump
You: “Good morning, Sir!”
Professor: “It is not a good morning!”
…Well somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed…
How to Deal: Keep your head low and keep on taking notes. Oh, and no eye contact.
3. The Late Arriver
You’re about to get up and leave since it’s been 15 minutes…and then dear old Professor shows face. They then more likely than not get annoyed that you were not planning on engraving your butt on the seat for the next 45 minutes and studying the textbook anyway. Typical…
How to Deal: Two options. Either run out of the room and hope your teacher isn’t a marathon runner who can tackle you to the ground and drag you back to class. Or, sit back down and look super enthusiastic. Your classmates might think you’re a teacher’s pet, but hey, grades matter, right?
4. The Wicked Witch of the Western Hemisphere
No, stop trying to fail me on purpose! I need to show my parents straight A’s so that they buy me an apartment next year!!!
How to Deal: Honestly, nothing will help. But a little flattery can go a long way.
5. Miss Martyr
Why does she look like she was force-fed poison instead of voluntarily teaching us the subject she claims to have written her PhD dissertation on? Look, we don’t like sitting here any more than you like teaching us, so can we just wrap it up please?
How to Deal: Hold your breath and let your eyes glaze over.
6. The Self-Absorbed Snob
Um, you’re supposed to help us? Do I look like I care that you’ve written a 3,000 page textbook that no one can understand? Just HELP ME!
How to Deal: Flattery can work wonders with this guy. Also, try to seem smarter by inserting one or two GRE words into every sentence; it might just catch his attention.
7. The Funny Guy
Well, he thinks he’s funny. Whether anyone else agrees remains a question. His colleagues probably want to lock him in a cupboard when he’s having these moments.
How to Deal: Laugh A LOT (even though he’s guaranteed to not be funny). Your grade depends on this.
8. Mr. Intensity
…well that lecture got intense fast…
How to Deal: Don’t look like you couldn’t care less about what he has to say. Because he will probably call on you if you look even slightly incredulous.
Of course, if your professor is anything like any of mine, he or she will go through all of these faces in one class. So just fasten your seatbelts and be prepared for an emotional roller coaster.