Slut Shaming: Is It Ever Okay?

If you had the chance to pick up the issue of Seventeen magazine that had Selena Gomez rocking the cover, you would know that it was all about girl power. This issue celebrated numerous female celebrities using not only their fame but also their skills and talent to help better the world. Many of the stars talk about their commitment to helping girls, such as Victoria Justice with her participation in Girl Up, which helps girls in developing countries make their dreams a reality. Victoria specifically makes others aware of the sexual violence, lack of education for girls, and gender inequality in developing countries. So, with all of this push for girl power, you would think that girls are on a rise, right? Not quite. Upon finishing the magazine, I encountered a conversation between three girls calling another girl they knew a “slut” for having sex with a boy she had just met. At that moment, I felt defeated. When did people become so nonchalant about referring to other girls as “sluts”? Isn’t it our job, especially as girls, to strengthen our own gender? How can we do this if we are constantly bringing each other down by calling other girls “sluts” and “whores”?

If you look up the word “slut” on Urban Dictionary, the first definition that comes up is “a woman with the morals of a man.” Directly under this is a list of related words which includes, but is certainly not limited to: “whore,” “bitch,” “skank,” “hoe,” “tramp,” “easy,” and the one that angers me the most, “ugly.” First of all, one of the many problems with this is that a slut is automatically denoted as being a woman. This brings up the whole argument of if a woman sleeps around she’s considered a slut, but if a man sleeps around he’s considered a hero. What made it acceptable for men to sleep around with as many people as they please, while women get the backlash of it and are constantly criticized for the same actions? Women should have just as much of a right as men in making decisions pertaining to their own sex lives; women shouldn’t be looked down upon for having an active sex life.

A big problem has to do with how girls perceive other girls. It is all too common and casual for girls to call one another “sluts,” and this is not okay. If we make it okay to call each other sluts, then boys will see no problem in doing so, too. I can’t even count how many times I have witnessed or even been apart of a conversation where a girl refers to another girl as a “slut” or “whore” for having a one night stand or even for the way they decide to dress. I have even caught myself doing this, though I am not proud of it. Unfortunately, referring to each other as sluts is something that doesn’t even phase many of us and almost comes naturally. 

What I have come to realize is that slut shaming is extremely different in college than it was in high school. In high school, slut shaming wasn’t as big of an issue because one night stands didn’t occur as much as they do in college. Though one-time hookups are more acceptable in college, that doesn’t mean that we have stopped referring to each other as “sluts.” In fact, I feel as if I hear these references made more than when I was in high school. This has made me more aware of how serious slut shaming is, and how women need to stop judging one another for the decisions they make.

Though I think slut shaming is wrong and needs to be put to an end, I decided to get some other opinions, which resulted in some interesting responses. Some think that being a slut all has to do with your attitude. For instance, if you have sex with a different guy every night and feel the need to post your actions on every form of social media, then it is okay to refer to that girl as a “slut.” In addition, some girls think that it all depends on the relationship you have with the girl you are referring to. If you dislike the girl or have had issues with her, specifically boy issues, then it is totally acceptable to call her a “slut.” Their thought process seems to be, “She’s slept with every boy I have, so why not call her what she is?” Some even brought up the difference between being a “slut” and just “slutting it up.” This phrase refers to a girl who has had a slutty weekend, but doesn’t normally act this way. Girls that have used this phrase also say they use it when referring to close girlfriends. For example, if you had a friend that slept around one weekend, you would refer to her as “slutting it up” rather than a “slut.” Though I can see where these girls are coming from, and though in the past I most likely would have agreed, I now feel that women need to make a more conscious effort to end slut shaming. Once they cease to refer to one another as “sluts” and “whores,” then it will (hopefully) lead to the cessation of men using such words when referring to women. 

The lines of slut shaming are, as you can tell, incredibly thin. It is all too common to hear (mostly) girls being called “sluts” by people of any gender, however it is mostly women that will use the term “slut” to refer to one another. Tina Fey said it right in Mean Girls: “You have to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” Bottom line is, every woman is in charge of her own body and the decisions she makes with it. If a girl wants to have a one-time hookup with no strings attached and she’s okay with it, then by all means she should go for it; it is of no concern to anyone else except for her. As long as you are safe and know the risks of your actions, then go ahead and live your life, worry-free of slut shaming.

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