Okay, so hate may be a strong word. Dislike, find irritating and repulsive, a douchebag; these words may deem more appropriate when summing up your feelings towards your friend’s boyfriend. To your friend however, he’s warm and gentle when no one is around. She loves their conversations, the way he makes her feel, and how easily he can open up to her. Yet from your looking glass, this so-called “Mr. Darcy” messes with her head one night and makes up for it by coming over and sweet-talking in her ear. When you guys go out, she is constantly texting him and sulks when he messes up again. So who’s there for a shoulder to lean on when your friend is upset about the situation? You. It’s no wonder why you dislike the boyfriend. If your situation is anything similar to mine, you hear all the negative aspects of this relationship…so of course you’re going to develop a bit of an annoyance when he’s around (which is constantly!). No matter how many times you make her try to see reason on why she should leave, in the end it’s her choice and her relationship.
Honestly, you don’t have to tolerate everyone of your friend’s boyfriend. The tricky part is learning how to balance being her friend and civil towards him when he’s around as he may not like you either. By now, you’re probably a pro in avoiding him. However, if you are forced to witness the nauseating moments between the couple; there are ways to tolerate hanging out with him. Tip 1: Slap him when he makes a dumb remark. (Just kidding)
Tip 1. If possible, having a small group of friends around when hanging out with the lovely couple will give you a chance to avoid your friend’s boyfriend and will make it less awkward as no one likes being the third wheel either.
Tip 2. If you are ever forced to be alone with the boyfriend on your own, attempt (as hard as it may) to make a conversation about simple topics you can both easily discuss. For example, TV shows, movies, midterm stress and duties; etc. The less controversial the topic, the less likely you two will argue. You may even start warming up to the guy after a few conversations (Probably not).
Tip 3. If you do hang with the couple one evening and you want to desperately get out of there, make an excuse. “Oh I have to finish homework” or “I’m meeting up with so and so.”
Tip 4. If your friend is constantly surrounded by her boyfriend, keep some distance between the two of you as well. Eventually she’ll get tired of seeing his face and will hang out with you on her own. The distance may even force her to analyze her relationship on her own. Note: (If your friend avoids hanging out with you and her other friends because of this boyfriend and runs back every time there is a problem; she was never and probably will never be a good friend).
Tip 5 Try to be honest with your friend about needing space from her boyfriend. She will most likely understand that she doesn’t need to shove you two together in hopes that you two will become friends. On the plus side, you won’t have to make excuses about not inviting him over because it’s girl’s night.
Over time, it will become easier to tolerate her boyfriend, no mater how painful. The worst part you may have to come to terms with is if she’s happy and it’s not an abusive relationship, it’s best to stay out. If she asks your opinion about him, say why you think he sucks ever so gently. Some say it’s best to only mention your feelings towards him once. If you mention it more than once, she may chalk it up to jealousy or something else ridiculous and untrue. When all else fails simply play Rhianna’s normal”>Umbrella and remember how silly it is to ruin a friendship over a boy. So ladies in this situation; bite your tongue and remember you are never alone in this situation!