Studying abroad is a wonderful thing, for the people that decide to participate in it. However, some college students decide not to study abroad and watch their friends fly off to foreign lands without them. We go through the five stages of grief. The Office helps to describe these stages of grief, as an attempt to show you study abroad-ers how much it hurts to leave your best friends.
First off, your best friend explains that she has been accepted into the program she applied for, which you knew about but had put into the back of your mind. Your reaction is:
Then, your friend has to explain that she, and she only, will be going alone. Your natural response is:
Now onto the stages.
Stage One: Denial
You know it’s going to happen, your best friend will get on that plane and leave, but you refuse to believe it. How can they just leave you like that? Sure, great experience, but who will stay up with you eating ice cream just for fun?
You just feel like leaving it all and pretending blissfully that they will not go. Slowly though, you realize you cannot just leave this problem, it is going to happen, leading you to the next stage.
Stage Two: Anger
How dare they leave you! You do not even want to look at them, but you cannot stay away; they are your best friend. So you give them the evil eye while she talks about international calling plans, getting a credit card, her passport problems, etc.
You pretend to not see their messages, their calls, or just ignore them in person. You slowly realize though, that this person is your best friend and you don’t want to ice them out of your life. The next logical answer is to bargain with them to stay.
Stage Three: Bargaining
You just start spewing off all of your friends that you usually hang out with, but they are not her! That one friend will be with their boyfriend all the time, and you will be the third wheel without her. Will your group of friends even be a cohesive group without her? Probably not. How can she leave when you have things to go to together? People will be asking for her, and you cannot just go alone.
You CAN’T EVEN talk about finding another best friend, because seriously you had caviar and you cannot downgrade. She is the only one who is perfect enough to have the balance of not judging you, but still giving you the best advice. She can still check Facebook though, right? So, you guess it is really happening, which makes you so sad.
Stage Four: Depression
Food will always be there for you. You turn to Netflix to give you a reason to go on. A WHOLE semester without your friend by your side, will it even be possible? Probably not. Sadness consumes you, and you almost cry as each day passes, especially the day your friend leaves you for seemingly forever.
At this point you are almost coming to terms with the news. You make sure to not express your sadness, but that you love them no matter what. Plus, you begin to realize without them there (tear), you will be able to focus on school a bit more and can bring that GPA up, only to bring it back down to celebrate her homecoming.
Stage Five: Acceptance
You are happily looking at photos of you two together. Sure, she is leaving but you are basically getting friend-married later on in life so in the grand scheme of things this is nothing. You have the mental memories together, and will always have those embarrassing screenshots of her.
And then like that, she is gone. You realize how absolutely ridiculous you are, because this is an amazing experience for her and you cannot wait to hear about the things she did. Plus, you can trick yourself into thinking she will bring back a cute foreign guy for you. (Paolo from Lizzie McGuire Movie anyone?)
Soon enough, you will be throwing them a welcome home party.