I am not sure about other people, but going through my cell phone contacts give me quite the laugh. No one ever really looks at that mysterious contact list because everyone you care about texting is already in your messages section, right? Let me tell you exactly what sorts of hidden gems are in that list. Consider yourself warned.
That One Kid You Met at a Party
Basically, this is just that random name you come across and take awhile to remember exactly who this rando is. You debate whether to delete the number or not, but inevitably you decide not to because if you ever need him for you know, stuff… well, let’s just say he’s useful to keep around.
The One- Namer
You clearly inputted this contact during that phase where everything in your phone had to be lowercase. Take that random “dan” you have, for instance – you have absolutely no idea who “dan” is because this was, of course, during the phase where you didn’t have many people in your phone, so you never needed to distinguish using last names. Having “dan” floating in your contacts is so mysterious; you are always kept amused guessing who he might be.
The “Just Emoji”
This person does not need a name to distinguish them. A picture is worth a thousand words, right? So why not have a miniature picture of that flower and animal distinguish your best friend? No one else understands your choice of emoji either, so you always have a moment of suspenseful excitement when that pineapple icon pops up on your phone.
Your Favorite Pizza Place
You don’t have time to type in the number every time, so it’s easier to just save it in your contacts as “bae.” This way, you can have “bae” on speed dial – where “bae” is everything and anything you want it to be – which is pizza. I mean, honestly. This is a universal thing, right?
ICE ICE BABY
I don’t know about you, but my mom forced me to change my home number, her contact name, and my dad’s name on their phones to ICE. Why, you ask? Who knows. Vanilla Ice Knows. Code words take over once again!
Mom/Dad
Sometimes you just want to switch it up and change your parents’ names. It’s fairly easy to express your relationship with them through the name on the phone, more so than in real life. Will Mom be a colored heart, or are you going for a wine emoji? The choice is yours.
Your Childhood Friend
Sometime during your awkward teenage phase, you changed your childhood friend’s name in your phone. It was probably a ridiculously long name just so that you had something long to type into your enV2. You have always been too lazy to change it, and now you keep it on principle. You get stares from people who don’t understand. For me, it’s my friend Candice who is “street 50 prostitute” in my contact list (not an actual prostitute, never fear!), and you end up having to explain to those shocked nosy people that the unfortunately-nicknamed person sending you incessant texts is simply your old friend.
The Significant Other
You absolutely can’t miss this person because you might have their pet name, accompanied with a massive amount of emojis. They simply cannot have their own name; oh please, that would be ridiculous. The bride emoji following their name only helps to show people how much you care.
The Friend from Class
During the school year, you start to exchange numbers with people in class as a way to catch up on missed assignments or ask questions. But after that semester ends, you completely forget this so-called friend. A few semesters later you stare at your phone, looking at the name but only slightly remembering why you saved this person in your contacts.
The Boss
DO NOT DRUNK CALL. DO NOT DRUNK TEXT.
Campus Connect
This is that annoying contact that lets you know about something going on at campus that 95 percent of the time has nothing to do with you. Pitt tricked you into signing up for these texts, but you don’t have the heart to NOT get the texts. Getting those “stay safe drinking during *insert random holiday/event here*” always warms your heart. Admit it, Campus Connect is a lifelong contact.