We’ve all been there. That talk. The guy you’ve been seeing pops out a simple, “So… how many people have you slept with?” It’s a straightforward question, and normally we answer it without a problem—it’s not like we’re insecure about it or anything… but the last time someone asked me, another question came to mind: why the hell does it matter?
Obviously people care if they ask, and I’m not trying to pin the guys as the guilty ones here because girls are just as curious, but what answer are they expecting? Guys don’t want to be with the girl who has gotten around the whole frat house, but they want the girl to know what she’s doing and that can only happen through experience. Which number accommodates all of that? Again, I’m not trying to pin guys as judgemental assholes who will sleep around but when it comes to settling down they definitely pin their girls to a different standard. I’m just trying to address the question: why should someone’s number matter?
Speaking from a girl’s point of view, I’ve had multiple conversations with my friends that generally go as follows: “Did you hear that girl from our high school slept with 19 guys her freshman year? I mean she can do what she wants, but I would never want to sleep with that many guys.” We try to soften the blow of our judgement by saying that other girls can do what they want, but we would never do that. Why not? Why do we feel the need to think like that? How about we stop fretting about a number and focus on what we, as individuals, are comfortable with?
I feel like going on my soapbox for a quick second for a public service announcement: we should stop worrying about the number of people we have slept with, whether it’s one or a whole lot more than one. The only opinion that should matter is your own: if you want to have sex with every single man you find, that is totally fine! Don’t let society’s judgemental prejudices stop you. Similarly, if you’re the type of person who enjoys sleeping with just their high school sweetheart, that’s fine too! As long as you’re being safe and you’re doing it for yourself, I don’t see a problem. Go forth and enjoy yourself in whatever (safe) way you see fit!
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