Wearing Sunglasses Inside Cool Guy Drunk
This person somehow reveals an alternate personality when under the influence. They lose inhibitions and become the soul of the party.
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I Could be the Next Mark Cuban Drunk
Similar to millionaire Mark Cuban—who attended Pitt—this drunk is overly-confident and splurges. They may spot their friends on Green Tea shots or buy rounds that go down like water.
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I Could be the Next Jonas Salk Drunk
This drunk benefits from lowered inhibitions, showing off their smart side. They do not undergo drastic characteristic changes. Hint: take them to trivia if you want to win.
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Am I Really Sitting by Myself in the Club rn? Drunk
The lonely drunk sits by themselves and most likely prefers to drink in solitude, even if they are alone at the bar. Being sober is just too stressful today.
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Pitt Pathfinder Drunk
The friendliest of the drunks! Always in a good mood and blurts out random Pitt facts once they have had a few drinks. Hint: have fun and take these happy souls dancing.
Lucile Bluth Drunk
Professionally and perpetually drunk. Is there a difference between alcoholics, characters in Mad Men, and social frat Brads and Chads? I think not.
Gif by What Gif Today via Tumblr
Everyone is my Friend at Sorrento’s Drunk
Almost a Kindergartener in the way they make friends: sloppily. They make za friends, use lots of hand gestures, are overly touchy, are sweet and nice, do not understand personal space, and want to talk to anyone about anything. Hint: you might need to delete their number which you both drunkenly added.
Gia via unknown via Giphy
Cathy Drunk
Ah, the glorious Cathy. She stands tall, liked by all. Pretty and not afraid to show some love.
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Starting Fights at Bootleggers Drunk
This drunk may be on the verge of violence. What better place than Bootleggers: the bar with a name that only attracts pirates or people with gum diseases. Throw hands, brojoni.
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Hillman Ground Floor Drunk
Always a gamble. Manically encases almost every drunk detailed above—all in one night. Hint: they will pull all-nighters.
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Corpse Drunk
Does this one really need an explanation? Your current state of utter weariness until the Gatorade and Vicodin cure your nasty hangover.
Gif by unknown via Giphy