On the second of November, the Gender and Women’s Studies Department alongside the Plattsburgh State Art Museum and Behavioral Health Services North ran a forum on domestic violence intending to spread awareness of the many forms of domestic violence and abuse. Connie Oxford, the Chair of Gender and Women’s Studies, and Tonya Cribb, director of the Plattsburgh State Art Museum, introduced the Donna Ferrato exhibit currently located in Feinberg Library and guest speakers Laurel Polttila and Brianna Reeves spoke on the services and resources they can provide Clinton County residents (including Plattsburgh students) through Behavioral Health Services North (BHSN).
Despite this being important information, not everyone who could use it could attend, so we summarized the key points here for you:
Who is Donna Ferrato, AND what is her work about?
Donna Ferrato is an investigative photojournalist who has dedicated her career to documenting the world of domestic violence to expose, protect and prevent violence against women and children. She was honored in 2009 by the New York State Supreme Court for her work to promote gender equality, and in 2021 by the TriBeCa Film Festival, being named the Artist Of The Year. The Feinberg Library offers several of her books to borrow, including Love & Lust, Living With The Enemy, and Holy.
The Plattsburgh State Art Museum’s Fall 2022 Show, “Donna Ferrato: Behind Closed Doors” is on display in Feinberg’s Deep Quiet Area until December 9th, 2022. Not everyone can handle this exhibition, the photos cover very serious and upsetting topics, and feature nudity and graphic violence. The museum and the Gender And Women’s Studies Department also hold a drive for domestic violence victims, requesting toiletries, pads and tampons, underwear, and other personal care products, with a donation box outside the exhibit.
What Constitutes As Domestic Violence?
We all know the visible forms of domestic violence, physical assault, yelling, beating, and sexual assault, but did you know that obsessive checking of social media is considered domestic abuse? Or sexual actions where consent is coerced or given out of frustration are domestic violence and assault? Did you know that being embarrassed by your friends and family and not pulling weight with chores is also considered abuse? From the outside looking in, none of these actions appear to be domestic abuse.
In the forum, Reeves told a story of one of her friends, “Whenever [the victim] did something her partner didn’t like, they’d mention ‘the basement’. She continued, telling us how she and other friends never understood what it meant, and it never crossed their minds that it could indicate domestic violence. “The basement is where they kept the guns,” she said, explaining to the audience how this seemingly harmless, if not a little strange, phrase was crafted to both go under the radar of peers and to strike fear into the victim to maintain control.
“If anything, what I want you to take away from this is domestic violence is a pattern,” Reeves stated. This phrase was repeated often throughout the forum, and for a good reason.
Domestic violence is a pattern of intentional behavior intended to harm, manipulate, and abuse. When you don’t get a response immediately to constant texts, you might not recognize it as domestic abuse until it’s never-ending.
Another extremely stressed point made by Reeves was to never go to couples counseling with an abuser. Abusive people have nothing to gain from therapy or counseling, as well as getting more angles to abuse. Using counseling language, they can abuse, manipulate, or even abuse the therapist emotionally. This can open up a window for escalation.
It’s also important to recognize that not all domestic violence victims are perfect and innocent. Some are nasty to their abusers, some get tired of being beaten and start hitting back, and some fight tooth and nail to defend themselves, their pets, and their children. It’s irresponsible and harmful to perpetuate the myth of “mutual abuse” as you are not considered an abuser for defending yourself.
What Services Can BHSN Provide to Victims of Domestic Violence?
Behavioral Health Services North’s Stop Domestic Violence program services Clinton County, Franklin County, and Essex County residents, so while you’re here at Plattsburgh, you have full access to their resources! However, if your hometown is outside of the aforementioned areas and wants help, the Northwinds Integrated Health Network can refer you to another service in your area.
Their most used resource is their 24/7 Stop Domestic Violence hotline. According to Reeves and Polttila, it has served over 5,000 callers just this year. When you call 1-888-563-6904, you answer a short series of yes or no questions, asking about physical, emotional, financial, and psychological abuse you may have faced to evaluate the situation and the danger you’re in. Then, you and the advocate work with each other to formulate an appropriate safety plan and how they will help moving forward, with your well-being as the priority.
“Self-advocacy is the first step in the healing process,” Polttila said. When a victim is not ready to move on, they’re assisted with a plan to prevent escalation and prioritize safety. This includes staying out of the kitchen and bathroom if an argument emerges. If the victim is willing to pursue a protective order, they will be accompanied to court and assisted in writing the proper requests for protection orders.
Seeking help has risks, which is a huge reason why the victim is given agency when planning. Polttila spoke about the risks of protective orders and how when a woman leaves an abusive relationship, the chance of her partner killing her skyrockets 75% “Unfortunately, sometimes the safest option is staying in the relationship,” she says after telling the group of cases she’s worked on that ended tragically. Nevertheless, Stop Domestic Violence provides temporary safe housing to protect those who leave, making it near impossible for abusers to find them to retaliate. Those in safe houses are also assisted in finding permanent housing away from their abusers.
More information on their services and how to get involved and help can be found on BHSN’s Stop Domestic Violence Website.
Domestic violence is a huge issue that has only grown with the development of technology, and when you live most of the year in a small town like Plattsburgh your options for help seem limited. However, whether you seek further action or need someone to talk to, there are many resources at your disposal.