I have a lot of article ideas. A lot of really cool ideas and lessons and stories I’d love to share. I love writing. I want to write. But it feels as though every time I open my laptop, my mind goes blank. It isn’t writers block, because I know what I want to say. However, I can’t. I can’t get the words onto my screen. I just cannot bring myself to do it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about why this is. Is it because I’m worried my work won’t be good enough? Are the topics I want to write about too niche or, maybe, just the opposite? Do I have too much to say or not enough? Maybe I just cannot find the motivation.
Yeah, I think that’s it.
I’m a hard worker. I’m almost always doing homework, reading, cleaning, doing anything to make me feel productive. It’s like I need to be doing something at all times. When I’m not doing anything for too long, I get jittery. I get nervous that I’m not doing enough, that others will view me as lazy. While I know this is not the case, and that occasionally I need to give myself a break, often times I cannot get myself to stop… That is, until recently.
Recently I’ve had to battle myself to get my work done. I still have that jittery feeling when I’m in bed later than 10am on weekends or spend my time between classes on social media, but it just does not seem like enough anymore. The anxious feeling is not enough to get me to do my work. I struggle every day to convince myself to pull out my laptop or open my planner.
Maybe it’s the new semester and lack of usual routine, or maybe I’ve burned myself out.
While I’m aware how dramatic this sounds, it feels plausible. I used to be able to do school work for hours on end, and suddenly now even thirty minutes feels impossible. The anxiety of not doing enough has shifted from a motivator to a hinderance. So, what do I do about this?
I don’t know! The past week or so has consisted of me trucking along, going from assignment to assignment, just trying to get stuff done. I suppose my point of this article is just wishful thinking that maybe I’m not the only one who feels this way. I know I’m not the only one who feels the overwhelming need to constantly be working, but maybe I’m not alone in the feeling of exhausting myself as a result.
Either way, at least now I can cross “write an article” off my to-do list.