Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
pang yuhao kd5cxwZOK4 unsplash?width=719&height=464&fit=crop&auto=webp
pang yuhao kd5cxwZOK4 unsplash?width=398&height=256&fit=crop&auto=webp
/ Unsplash

How to Deal with Difficult Relatives

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Portland chapter.

As summer approaches, we are all looking forward to a little freedom. Time to do what we want, when we want. Many of us will be taking summer jobs, and believe me, the philosophy of this post will apply to those situations too. Summer is a time of moving on and moving forward, and the seniors of this lovely campus will be taking the time to thank those who have been supporters of their amazing educations—and dealing with the difficulties that come with every family gathering.

For those from divorced parents, graduation can be a difficult time. Whether or not your parents get along does not matter because it is still an awkward situation to be in. However, like the brilliant graduates you are, you will handle this circumstance with poise and grace. When things start to get tense, especially after the ceremony when everyone wants a picture with the grad, just smile. Make sure you make time for each person in your circle of support and work to dispel any unnecessary tension.

Let’s talk about those distant relatives. You know, the ones who show up out of the blue when you’ve accomplished something significant but are quiet for the rest of your days? These are a special class of relatives because they have a certain sense of entitlement that seems mostly undeserved. But again, because you are a classy folk with a lot of sense, you will greet and receive these relatives with a smile, even if it’s fake. Tell them that you are so glad they can be there for you, even if you don’t exactly mean it. Beautiful women of the 21st Century know the best way to create a happy atmosphere is to promote happiness through a smile, a nod, and a gracious thank you.

Perhaps the most difficult class of relatives to deal with is the ones who believe you owe them something. You’re the one who is graduating, but they also believe it’s their day to celebrate. True, there are some relatives who are celebrating with you; for example, your parents. They gave birth to you and most likely did the most child rearing, so yes, they get to celebrate with you. But the ones who didn’t may still feel like they have a stake in your future, even if they haven’t been the most upstanding relatives in your past. Swallow your pride, novice graduates, and realize that people like this will always exist. They’re in the work place taking part in your accomplishments even when they didn’t lift a finger, and they’re in your friend group, taking credit for all of your personal successes. Smile and wave because you have accomplished something outstanding and guess what? You’re an adult so if you never want to see them again, you don’t have to.

But all of this will be irrelevant when we walk across the stage, wave to our greatest fans, and walk into the new chapter of our lives. Remember that you have accomplished something amazing and share that joy with the ones who care and love you the most. There will always be difficult people in your life, what is important is that you don’t let them kill your happiness. Smile your million-dollar smile and say hello to the new greatest part of your life. 

I am studying Organizational Communication with a emphasis in Public Relations at the lovely University of Portland. I grew up in Salem, Oregon, but I absolutely love living in the city. My hobbies are reading, writing (obviously), running, and watching cat videos. And eating. I also love window shopping in the Pearl District, going to the Saturday market, and trying out new restaurants.
Hailing from eastern Washington, Julia attends the University of Portland in Oregon, as a Communication Studies major with an emphasis on Journalism. As a magazine and book junkie, Julia reads everything (and anything) she can get her hands on, especially those passionate on young adult culture and entertainment. A woman that gets stir-crazy easily, Julia has been fortunate to have traveled many summers in a row to foreign countries, including a study abroad course in Austria, Germany, and Great Britain. Since a ripe age, she has grown and cultivated her passion and dream of working for a magazine and spreading awareness as well as happiness through the tips of her fingers. Always finding time for herself, Julia can frequently be found quoting movie lines (most frequently Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn), having a 90's dance party with her roommates, or rereading "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" for the 40th time.