Outgrowing Friendships

College’s a huge step in life. College’s a time of big changes. Whether you go thousands of miles from your hometown or still live in your childhood home, things are different from when you were in high school. You, as a person, are different then you were in high school. Your outlooks may change, your beliefs may change, your goals may change and your priorities may change. Honestly, everything may change. And that’s more than okay…it’s amazing!

For most people, college is the first time in their lives where they learn about themselves outside of their family and childhood friends. College’s a time where you learn about yourself, make new friends and become your own person. College is when you grow and as you grow, you may outgrow certain friendships.

There are many signs of outgrowing a friendship:

1. Neither of you put in any effort anymore.
2. You have nothing to talk about.
3. You have stronger friendships you would rather put your time into.
4. You constantly judge and criticize each other.
5. You don’t feel supported by them.
6. You feel like you are more like competitors than friends.
7. You are at different places in life.
8. The only thing you have in common is your past.

It happens to everyone, and I’m here to say that it’s okay.

It’s okay to realize that you no longer have the energy for a certain friendship. It’s okay to move on if someone’s trying to keep you in the past. It’s okay to move past a friendship that feels suddenly toxic. It’s okay to move on.

It’s also important to note that the nature of friendships can change as you grow. Someone who was your best friend can become more of an acquaintance. Vice versa, an acquaintance can become a best friend. Friendships don’t need to end in a fallout or some huge fight. Friendships can just fade.

Also, the changing of a friendship does not need to ruin your memories with that person. I find it easiest to think of it as a different life. I was different, they were different and the friendship was different. Savor the memories, but also realize that moving on is part of life. And yes, it hurts to move on, but sometimes it’s what’s best.

For the longest time, I thought I had to keep my childhood friends forever. I know so many adults who’re still friends with their best friend from 5th grade, that I thought that it was customary. I’ve fought for friendships, but come to realize those friendships weren’t right for me anymore. It took me some time to realize it’s okay to outgrow people. That’s why I’m here to tell you that growth is inevitable and so is outgrowing friendships. There’s no reason to feel guilty for changing and becoming yourself. Continue to grow, and the friendships that will last for decades will grow with you.

• change
• friends
• friendship
• grow
• growth.