Relationships are tough. Long-distance relationships are tougher. Nothing is more of a challenge for a budding relationship than six months of separation. If you are heading to college, venturing abroad, or moving for a career, here are three things to do that will help keep your relationship alive and flourishing while you’re far away from your S.O.
1) Communicate.
It’s not secret that communication is key when it comes to sustaining a relationship. Naturally, communication is also incredibly important when it comes to long-distance relationships. However, when you aren’t seeing your S.O. every day, it’s harder to keep each other up-to-date on everything that is going on. Be sure to let your partner know about the new experiences you are having, but also talk about how you feel, how you miss each other, and what your partner is doing back home. Your world is expanding, which can feel threatening to the people back home because they may perceive their importance in your world as decreasing. Be sensitive to your S.O. back home. Stay connected to each aspect of your S.O.’s life, just as you would if you were back home.
2) Make a communication plan and stick to it.
Discuss together what you think is a healthy level of communication, and agree to hold each other accountable for communication. Each couple will have something different that work for them, whether it is Skyping twice a day or emailing every other day. Regardless, following through on a plan for communication provides consistency and stability for a relationship that is undergoing a sizable strain. DO NOT wait to figure things out until you are far away from each other. Leaving things open-ended leaves a lot of room for hurt and misunderstandings to arise.
3) Be clear about expectations.
Distance can provide an environment for distrust to flourish. Nip that distrust in the bud by freely admitting what would make each of you uncomfortable BEFORE you leave. It’s hard enough to sort out misperceptions and rumors when you are in the same physical location. Spare yourselves the misery of trying to clean up that mess when you have limited communication time. You and your S.O. should be absolutely clear about your standards and expectations for each other. This is not about a lack of trust. Rather, it is about communicating what you trust each other to do and not do. Being honest about what you trust your partner to do or not do has the potential to neutralize misunderstandings before they even happen.
4) Prioritize issues.
Every relationship comes with challenges, and sometimes those challenges take a long time to resolve. Being far away from your S.O. adds yet another challenge, so don’t bite off more than you can chew. Seriously addressing those long-term problems can probably wait until you are back in the same physical location.
Leaving someone behind for a long time is scary. However, if you’re leaving for a finite amount of time, then you know you have someone to come back to. Having a healthy and supportive relationship, even if it is long-distance, can be a tremendous comfort when you are far from home. If you and your partner really care about making the relationship work, you’ll find a way.