Why I choose to celebrate galentine’s Day over Valentine’s Day
With the spirit of Valentine’s Day in the air, it can be easy to get caught up in the idea of having a significant other in your life, so much so that we forget the importance of our galentines. By celebrating our friendships first, we can reclaim the holiday to include all types of love: familial, friendship, and romantic, rather than conforming to the holiday’s restrictive, heterosexual, and patriarchal norms.
Why should Valentine’s Day focus on nonromantic relationships as well? First, focusing on all types of relationships eliminates the negative stereotypes about being single. In society, with public figures problematizing low birth rates and publicly blaming women without children, it is imperative to normalize being single at different stages of life. Second, reframing Valentine’s Day makes the holiday more inclusive of marginalized communities, including the LGBTQIA+ community. Finally, including all types of relationships within the scope of Valentine’s Day ensures we do not value one form of love over another, encouraging healthy balances between dating relationships and our friendships.
Romantic relationships can come and go, but your best friends stay in your life forever. Rather than looking for a fling because of the pressure to “have a date” on Valentine’s Day weekend, hang out with your closest friends and make the most of your college years. No one wants to reflect on their experiences and realize they were putting people who would be there for a fleeting moment first. Becoming comfortable with admitting that you are single (and understanding that this is completely normal) is the first step in deconstructing our notions of Valentine’s Day and reframing it in a feminist light.
In a world where competition (especially between women), is encouraged, celebrating our accomplishments together is an inherently feminist act. The way our society markets Valentine’s Day encourages, in the context of heterosexual relationships, to value our relationships with men over our relationships with women. Yes, while both types of relationships are important to cultivate, we should not diminish the meaningful connections found within our girl gangs.
With the negativity directed at women in the public light in recent months, taking the time to celebrate the galentines in our lives helps to counteract the hate seen online and in public to build a more gender-equitable world. This year, I will be celebrating Galentine’s Day first and foremost as part of this mission.