Smile. Stand up straight; don’t slouch. Don’t be too stiff!
Smile. Speak slowly. Don’t rush your answer.
Make sure you smile.
I have been competing in beauty pageants since I was a freshman in high school, and I credit much of who I am to these competitions. I am a former Miss Rhode Island High School America, and had the opportunity to go to Miss High School America in the summer of 2016. I competed in the Miss Rhode Island Teen USA system for five consecutive years, making the semi-finals three times, placing third runner-up, and, in my final year, I was called as the first-runner up to the title. When that happened, the first thing I wanted to do (besides find my family and have ice cream, ASAP), was congratulate the other girls I had the honor of competing against; one young woman in particular, who will remain unnamed. We have competed alongside each other for five years, and we have grown incredibly close. Her grit and worth ethic is unparalleled, and she is one of the many examples of amazing young women I have met over the years.
What? Is that possible- for competitors to be friends?
Yes. Of course, we are all competing for the same crown, the same glory, but by the same token- we are in the same boat. If I looked back on the past five years, when I hadn’t won the Miss RI Teen USA title, if I hadn’t gained the unbelievable friendships that I had, if I hadn’t taken fun pictures backstage, and laughed along with the other girls when we were trying to get our every move to be absolutely flawless, my heart would not have ever been half as full. I am incredibly grateful for all of these memories, and especially the life lessons that pageantry has taught me.
The most common question I get when I tell people I compete in pageants (besides asking me about world peace- PSA: I have never, nor will I ever, use those words in an interview or onstage question), is if I’ve ever gotten a heel snapped, a dress ripped, or insults hurled at me backstage. Every time, my answer is no. Of course, like in everything, from politics, to high school football, to beauty pageants, there will always be people who have negative opinions. I have had people tell me that, because I compete in pageants, I must be shallow, unintelligent, and have no regard for women’s rights, due to the fact that I walk around in a bathing suit and heels.
For starters, the Miss Teen USA organization has switched the teen swimsuit competition to “activewear”- meaning that, rather than having the teen contestants wear one-piece bathing suit and heels onstage, in an attempt to show off their bodies, we wear workout wear. Teens wear black leggings, sneakers and sports bras, showing how today’s young women are not just beautiful, but we are strong, disciplined, and team players. It is far more normal to see girls in workout wear, coming from sports or the gym, than it is in a bathing suit and heels.
Further, the young women I have met are some of the most intelligent, humble, determined, and yes, beautiful girls that I’ve had the honor of becoming acquainted with. Pageant weekend is nothing short of a homecoming. Many times, we keep in touch over social media, but we only actually see each other during this weekend, and it’s our chance to reconnect after a long year.
Competing in beauty pageants has taught me so much more than just how to walk in heels. They have taught me discipline; upon moving into Providence, I was two weeks from competition weekend. Before orientation and my morning classes, you would most likely find in the gym, or practicing the walk that I would need to perfect to convince my judges that I was the girl for them. They taught me tenacity; as we are so often told, only one girl walks away with the title of her dreams. I have been the girl with the crown placed on her head, and I’ve been the girl who leaves the venue, unsure of what exactly transpired, and gone home, sad and exhausted. However- knowing when to move on and understand that it simply wasn’t my time is one of the most valuable lessons I could learn. I learned that good things do not come easily- and they are never done alone. If it wasn’t for the love and support from not only my family and friends at home, but for the amazing people I’ve met here at Providence, I would not have accomplished the goal that I did just a few weeks ago. Pageants have shown me how to be truly aware of not only the world around me, but also aware of who I am as a competitor. I have learned that hard work, tenacity and determination will prevail in the end- and those of us with a little more character will always be better off than those who have been handed the “yes” every time.