A few months ago, one of my friends asked me if dating in the US was the same as dating in Panama. At first, this took me by surprise because I realised I had never thought about that. Was dating the same in Panama as it was in the US? The more I thought about it, the more I realised all of the subtle differences, but then I thought how subtle can they really be? Am I just blowing something out of proportion? Is everyone in our generation stuck in this dating grey area, no matter where they live? The short answer is: yes. No matter where you go, you’ll be bound to find one or two persona non gratas, especially since our generation has gotten used to hanging out and hooking up, less dating and breaking, and more phasing.
However, I still haven’t answered my friend’s question: Is there a difference? Well, yes. They might be small, but I think most of you might find the difference between dating cultures to be interesting:
Dates:
Back home, people love going on dates and to be honest, we love courtship. We love the whole process. From getting to know the person, flirting and everything that might happen afterwards. But, for some reason, there’s no pressure around dates. We take it casually, with a grain of salt, knowing that if things happen naturally and everything works out, great! And if they don’t, hey, at least you tried and maybe you can stay friends.
Exclusivity:
Back home, there’s a certain shame of staying in the “grey dating area”. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, the “grey dating area” is the place where you’re together, but you’re not together. And it’s fairly easy to find yourself there. At first, you don’t want to pressure him into being in a relationship and then before you know, it’s been 4 months and he still hasn’t called you his girlfriend. Like I said, no matter where you go, you’ll find a few guys/girls with commitment issues. But I think the pressure depends on the stage you are at in your life. And it is only felt by the one who wants to receive it. For the most part, once you start dating, both parties know that they’re exclusive. We just immediately assume it. I think this is linked to our fervent love for courtship, which is certainly enabled by our poetry and love songs. And if we want to date casually, we tell the other person, so they know what to expect from the relationship. There’s no point in wasting the other person’s time if we don’t see a future or want to take things casually.
DTR (Defining The Relationship):
I know for a fact that my friends in the US hate having “the talk” and I don’t blame them! Dating has become so hazy, that I don’t even know how they manage to get the guys they’re seeing out in the real world and on a real date. In Panama, there’s no such thing as DTR because like I said, in most cases -like 90%-, exclusivity is implied. You’re either together or you’re not, and you figure it out alone. If someone needs time, we give it to them. On the other hand, the way guys officially ask girls to be their girlfriends might be a little more formal -we’re v dramatic-. Guys tend to make big gestures, but funny enough, it doesn’t feel any different from the moment you start talking to the moment you’re officially together.
“I Love You”:
Now this one might be the biggest difference. Okay, so for you to understand why it’s such a big difference, you must understand the difference between “Te quiero” and “Te amo”. “Te quiero” Is when you have stronger feelings and you don’t just “like” the person, but you don’t love them. And “Te amo” is when you love someone. I don’t really know how to explain it, but you wouldn’t usually say “Te amo” after 3 months of dating. You use it once you know the person and have been dating for several months now. Let’s put it this way, if a guy said to me “Te amo” after only 2 – 3 months of dating, I would low key freak out. But, like everything in this article, this too should be taken with a grain of salt. If you feel like telling someone you love them, by all means, say it!
And there you have it! The main differences on dating in the US and Panama. Our cultural dating norms differ a little bit, but I think it’s intriguing to see how the country we live in influences our love life. It’s all about social codes, and I hope you enjoyed learning about the ones of where I’m from!