The C Word. Everyone knows what it is and everyone knows someone that has been affected by it. I’ve known about this word since 2001 when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and given three years to live. However, at that time I did not know that she was given a time frame for how much life she had left and neither did she. The only person that knew about her three years was my father. My two brothers and I wouldn’t find out about this time frame until six years later on a cold November night in 2007, but it would be included in the speech my dad gave us before he told us that she now had three weeks to live; however, we were told to keep praying for her health because, as she had previously demonstrated, she was a fighter. I was 12 years old when I lost my mother on a beautiful January morning six weeks after she was “supposed” to go.
I could ramble on about cancer, more specifically my mother’s cancer, for days. I don’t want to do that because I know she wouldn’t want me to do that and because she never did that. Cancer took so much away from her, but she still lived every day to the fullest. She didn’t know about her “death sentence” because she wanted to live each day as best she could and not think about the years closing in. She wanted to be a wife, mother, sister, friend, and so much more. I may have lost my mother almost nine years ago, but I still learn so much from her everyday. Through her I have learned how to live joyously and to let go and just have fun. To be in the moment and to be a friend. No matter how sick she felt, she would always be there for those she cared for and act like she wasn’t in severe pain. She taught me how to laugh and even while gone she teaches me how to keep smiling even when life down right sucks. Physically she is not here, but in a way, she always is around.
Cancer shaped my family, but somehow I have found so many positives in this negative experience. Despite the fact that cancer took away so much from my dad, myself, and my brothers, it also gave us more than we could ever imagine. It has created a bond that my brothers and I share, but don’t discuss. It brought me even closer to my aunt who has stepped in and guided me simply because my mom cannot. It gave me a greater understanding of life and just how precious it is. Cancer forced me to go through personal issues that I most likely never would have had to face and gave me the chance to realize how emotionally strong I am and just how much I can get through. Cancer caused my faith to ebb and flow, but essentially realize just how amazing God is and that He truly never will leave me even in the darkest times. So far, though, one of cancer’s greatest gifts to me is my three-year-old brother, Jack, who truly was the window opening after a door closed. His young life gives me a new outlook on my own and instills in me a love for life that, without him, I probably never would have found.
That is my cancer story and I hope that is where it will end. However, I know it probably won’t be. Over the course of her lifetime about one in every eight women (about 12% of the population) will develop invasive breast cancer which means there will be more little girls and boys left to grow up without a mother. Although there is not a cure yet, early detection can make a world of difference. You can read about breast cancer symptoms on the Cancer Center’s website and you can also do routine breast exams on your own. Starting at age 50 you should have your first mammogram. If you have a strong family history of breast cancer (mother or sister), you should start getting mammograms 10 years younger than the age they were diagnosed or at age 40 (whichever is younger) so if your mother was diagnosed at the age of 38, you should have your first mammogram when you are 28.
If you’re interested in helping to find a cure for breast cancer, you can find a number of organizations that are striving for the same goal of putting an end to breast cancer. You can donate on their websites or find other ways to raise money. We all have one goal in this fight to beat breast cancer: more birthdays.