Independent Woman

In the past, women have been looked down on and expected to provide for her man and not herself. Times have changed! We as women are not subjected to these tasks any longer – and it’s time we start to fully appreciate our freedom. In this day and age, women aren’t as easy to boss around. (Yes, we still have the occasional dependent woman). However, would you like to be or remain that woman who depends on her man, whether she owns up to it or not? The woman who beats herself up because of what other people call her; the woman who seeks the approval of others?

Here are some ways to break out of your dependent high school traits and go forth with independence as your very own woman. 

 

1) Pay For It. 

Don’t “pay for it” as in regret what you did, but pay for yourself and your needs. If you have a man who is chivalrous and is willing to pay for the first couple of dates and any other ones following – Keep him! But, don’t abuse him! Yes it is nice to be wined and dined every so often, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask to pay for the bill every so often. Don’t emasculate him, just offer. A simple, “Hey babe, it’s okay, I got this one” will suffice before the bill rolls around.

Just sitting there staring at the bill on the table will not make it go away though, so be open minded to the idea, that sometimes it’s your turn to pay. And if you offer to do so first before him, you’re showing how independent you truly are.  

 

2) Be Confident. 

Be confident in yourself. Be confident in your decisions. Bring your confidence everywhere you go. When a woman shows confidence inwards it shines outwards for everyone to see. This doesn’t mean be cocky. Be aware of your capabilities and what you wish to achieve and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your confidence is key. 

 

3) You Are Your Definition

Don’t let others define who you are. An independent woman knows who she is, where she is going in life, who she wants to become, what she wants to avoid, etc. By succumbing to what the “norms” of society expect you to do, you’re concealing your inner self and therefore rejecting it. Embrace yourself for who you are and what you can and can’t do. Once you do that, there’s no way to stopping you. 

 

4)  Never Seek Approval…Ever

An independent woman does not seek the approval of her man or friends. She is prepared to take on any challenges that might conflict with her goals, but in the end, her goals were all made by her. This easily ties in with confidence, number two. 

 

5) Know What You Want & Go Get It

There is nothing stopping you! The wind is blowing in your face and you feel empowered. Whether you’re going out to get your college degree, or setting out to get your dream job, hold your head up high, blast through those blockades and DO IT! The satisfaction you feel at the end of all of your hard work will be amazing, and to top it off, you never hesitated once. 

 

6) Cut the “I can’t live without you” Crap

You’re only prolonging the healing process if you keep saying you can’t live without him/her. If you truly love yourself then you will accept the fact sooner that something greater will enter your life. Unless you physically can’t breathe without your significant other, don’t say “I can’t live without you.” 

 

These are just a few of the many tips in which you could do to enter the threshold of independence. But once you get the ball rolling, there will be no turning back. You will easily have transitioned from a dependent woman to an independent woman in no time. Just stay confident, don’t let anyone stop you from pursuing your dreams and aspirations, and always remember who you are. 

What is your definition of independence? Here are some inputs from Penn State Berks students:

 

Nitsa Chery, Senior– “Being able to do something that benefits myself without needing validation from anyone else or doing it for someone else.”

 

Sarah Refait, Sophomore– “A woman that doesn’t need a man or anyone else to do anything for her.”

 

Jouviane Alexandre, Freshman– “Someone who is certain of their actions and doesn’t need the approval of others to live her life the way she wants.”

 

Patricia Iseley, Sophomore– “A female who doesn’t have to depend on anyone to get further in life.”