While juggling school my sophomore year, I decided to apply to be a resident assistant (RA). Personally, I felt like I was starting to figure out more about myself and about my academic habits.
There was a big turnaround point for me academically after my fall semester. My study habits and skill sets ameliorated tremendously. After starting to perceive myself in a better light, I was motivated to be a role model to incoming students.
I remember how grueling my freshmen year of college was and how having a support system made a difference in my life. I wanted to be that light for someone.
Setting Boundaries is a Necessity
Once the fall semester started, I was desperate to be a good RA to my residents. I started bending over backward for some of them to make sure they were feeling supported.
Going the extra mile is great… until it is not.
It’s much easier to keep control than to regain it. Residents would start to expect me to answer messages at 1 a.m. when I was not on duty.
This became an ongoing situation. I had to explain to a resident what is defined as an emergency and what is not.
Once I began to explain expectations in the future my residents were much more accommodating. It became much more productive to address these grievances during daylight hours.
It’s important to note to be respectful when setting boundaries. My residents were freshmen students and were in need of support. They had many questions and were looking for someone to be a guide and resource for them.
Be sure to let residents know you can still be there for them when you set boundaries.
You Won’t Be BFFs With Every Resident
When I first started out as an RA, I began introducing myself to my residents one by one. At first, it was easy to keep up with each resident during move-in week. However, as more residents started to move in at different times, it became unmanageable. Residents were in and out getting ready for classes and I was unable to make great first impressions with all of them.
I was able to get to know certain residents very well and even start to help them out with questions they were having. At these times it was exciting to be an RA.
Some residents would turn the other way when they saw me coming. At first, I was very confused because I wasn’t able to introduce myself to every single resident yet.
I started to think back to when I was a freshmen. To start out, I was also awkward with my RA and rarely spoke to her.
She was friendly and polite but I was nervous about getting in trouble and avoided her at all costs. As I started to get comfortable in my freshmen year, I started saying “hi” to her more and ask her questions when I needed. But I was never close with her.
After assessing my own experiences, I started to realize that even though some residents weren’t jumping up and down to talk to me doesn’t mean they hated me either. Even if they did hate me, it would not be the end of the world.
All I can do was try to be a readily available resource if they ever needed and always keep a hand extended out toward them.
Policy Enforcement Is Not Easy
Normally, I don’t have a problem being assertive when I need to be.
When I started training to be an RA, we discussed policy enforcement: I thought “Okay…easy… this will not be a big deal”. I previously thought that being intimidated by my residents was absurd.
That is until I started being on duty.
My first couple nights on duty were pretty lax. If anything, I thought it was almost too easy. I went on my rounds and I even went out of my way to make sure no funny business was going on. This continued on through my first month as an RA.
As the school year progressed, residents started to become more and more rowdy.
Here at Penn State, football weekend can get pretty crazy. Additional rounds are occasionally expected on days where the residents halls are expected to be especially hectic (football game days).
Residents started to find ringing the emergency bell to be fun and people living by the elevator were getting irritated. Especially when it started to be rang at three in the morning.
At first, I had hoped this newfound excitement over the emergency bell would fade. It did not…
The crown jewel of most embarrassing moment was when I had to confront 20 residents jam packed on the elevator obnoxiously ringing the emergency bell for fun.
Was it painfully, soul-suckingly awkward? Yes, yes it was. Did the ringing start to slow down? Yes, yes it did.
Check For Maintenance, Your Residents Won’t
Moving onto the floor before residents arrive is pretty glamorous. All the summer inspection have just been done. There is no wait time for the elevator. Everything is squeaky clean from the housing staff, and life if good.
Until, like a stampede of elephants, residents start arriving. You start to think, “well maybe it’s just messy right now because of move in?” Think again.
Although the messiness of move-in week ends. The messes don’t.
The amount of friendly reminders I put up was wild lol. I began to wonder “was I like this my freshman year” and honestly I probably was. Working for Residence Life makes you pay much more attention to maintenance issues.
Many students will walk by maintenance issues because they assume someone else submitted a Fit-It to housing. As an RA you can not have this mentality.
Sometimes a mess in the stairwell will stay there unnoticed until a residents notifies their RA. Looking around my floor for issues has become a regular part of my RA routine.
All in all, it makes the living experience much more desirable for all parties involved.
Not Every Bonding Event is a Success
One of the key responsibilities of an RA is to host community builder events.
These events are meant to be inclusive, academic and socially stimulating. Bonding events can be a great way to bring residents together. They’re crucial at the beginning of the semester for students to make friends on their floor and feel a sense of community.
Bonding events are definitely a trial and error experience.
My first couple bonding events went pretty well. I got a group of girls to go to a women’s soccer game and floor dinners. However, as the semester progressed many residents who normally went were not available.
As I hosted more community builders, I was able to figure out what events would be a hit and what events wouldn’t. Events with snacks will always be crowd pleasers. Targeting events to the personality of residents on the floor took further effort.
A peak moment in my RA journey was when the RAs in the building hosted a movie night. The movie was three and a half hours long on a holiday weekend.
Needless to say, the event wasn’t a big hit. The RAs and I learned to start discussing more fan favorite movies and paying closer attention to the dates we select.
This failure made me way more mindful of when I host community builders for my residents. I pay attention to high traffic hours in my building and when my residents’ lives tend to be the busiest.
In spite of these lessons, they have made me a better RA.
One can never be perfectly prepared for a role them are going to take on. There will always be unexpected challenges along the way. I am proud to say I see progress.
The fondness I have for my residents as well as the relationships I have developed being a part of residence life is priceless to me. Lessons are just part of the journey.