Everyone has a vision in his or her head of what college is supposed to be like.
You expect to make friends with every single person you talk to. Your grades are going to be perfect. Your social life will fill your calendar to the point where you can’t even fit in a good study sesh.
But what happens when all that doesn’t go according to plan?
You end up failing your first exam in your favorite class. No one in your hall talks to you. You find yourself sitting in your dorm watching another cheesy rom-com on Netflix while everyone on your floor seems to be going to a party.
I just want to tell you that all of this is okay.
Everyone takes their own time adjusting to college life, and for some, it can take more than a year.
Adjusting to college is one of the hardest experiences a person can go through. You go from having the same people in your life every day to not knowing a single soul around you – and it can be scary.
All college students go through that adjustment period at some point, but certain people are just better at hiding it.
If you are struggling, call your family. They’re usually a great support system. If you don’t want to talk to them, there is always someone on campus that can help you. At Penn State, CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) or your RA are great resources.
If you want to try to figure things out on your own, here are some of the common problems you might face and tips that can help.
1. You fail your first exam.
If you fail that first exam, you can always pull your grade back up – trust me. There will be at least two more exams for you to prove yourself.
On top of that, you can’t skip your classes. This is essential. It doesn’t matter if your friend in the class decides she wants to hit the snooze button – go to class. You will learn so much more than you did sleeping. Plus, the professor will usually point out certain things on the lecture that will be on the exam, meaning you can get even more points on your exam just from going to class.
Also, make sure you study before your exam. I can’t even tell you how many people who just show up the day of and hope for the best. If you want to make up for your past failures, study! Even just reviewing the lecture notes before your exam can do wonders for your score.
If you feel yourself falling behind, start going to office hours or tutoring sessions. You’re in charge of your own education. The professor doesn’t know whether or not you’re putting in the effort yet still getting bad grades. Go and tell your professor what’s going on because most of them will want to hear from you. Don’t worry.
2. You are having trouble making friends.
A lot of people just assume that coming to college means making a ton of friends. While college can be like this for some, it isn’t that way for many.
After going to the same school with the same people for the majority of your life, it’s completely natural to have trouble creating friendships.
First off, always leave your door open when you are home. This gives people the chance to just pop in and say hi, ask for help on the latest chem assignment or even have a deep life talk. Either way, you’ll have so many opportunities to make friends this way, and if you see someone with his or her door open, go in and say hi!
This leads into another important part of making friends…reciprocation. We all had that one friendship where you were the one who made all the plans, or you were always the one who texted first. In college, a lot of people were that friend, and they don’t want to repeat that – friendships are two-sided. Sometimes, you have to be the one to ask the girl down the hall to lunch first instead of her always putting herself on the line for you.
And as everyone always says, make sure you get involved because good friends always stem from similar interests. If you’re in the same club, you already have that similar interest – so don’t be afraid to try talking to the person next to you at that next general interest meeting!
3. You are homesick.
You miss your dog. You miss your mom’s cookies. You miss your dad killing all the spiders that get into your room. This is probably one of the biggest issues people face adjusting to college life.
Leaving the people that have cared for you these past 18 years of your life is hard, but they will always be there for you. They are literally just a phone call away.
Tell your mom to send those cookies to you every once in a while. FaceTime with your dog. Send your dad a text about your day. Just staying in constant communication with your favorite people for a while can ease the pain homesickness causes.
Eventually, you’ll feel okay with separation – it’s not because you don’t want to talk to them anymore. It’s because there are so many things to do and talking to them is so easy that it won’t even seem like you are that far away from home.
While this is not an exhaustive list of problems or tips, hopefully it will help just that little bit you need. It took me a while to adjust to college, too. And I promise you…it gets better. A lot better.
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