Dating Dos and Don’ts: Reflecting on Welcome Week

We’ve all heard of that college dating stereotype: the welcome-week love affair. 

People walk onto a college campus with finding a significant other listed as one of their top priorities, attach themselves to the first person they see and have the most dramatic break-up approximately three weeks later. The alternative is the much less likely scenario, where people meet during their first week and end up married, with two kids, a dog, a white picket fence and a Chevrolet Suburban. 

We’re already far enough into the semester to have witnessed the first option pan out. I’ve heard many stories from my peers about their spurned hearts and awkward experiences, so I took the liberty of interviewing one of the many freshmen girls who got welcome-weekend here’s her story. 

Having just survived her high school sweetheart and the breakup that ensued, she didn’t arrive at Penn State looking for a new boo, but of course, the charismatic and flattering man that shares all of her interests was immediately attractive, especially when he walked her back after their late-night club meetings. So, why wouldn’t she agree to a date at a nice restaurant off-campus?

“He wanted us to go on the date ASAP,” she said.

While that may or may not be a red flag, she agreed. What she didn’t immediately realize was that he had just gotten out of a three-year relationship days before they met. He was initiating everything and he said he was “crazy about her,” so when he pressured her to put a label on their relationship, she agreed, despite being kind of uncomfortable with the timing.

“I’m along for the ride. I’m cool with it,” she said, “because I’m an 18-year-old girl, and I don’t know how to think critically. When a guy seems very interested in me, I like him, right?”

About two weeks later, he’s the one not ready.

This was initially a call to slow down on the relationship side of things, but he later decided the pair couldn’t even be friends. This was a bit jarring for her, but she ultimately just wants to make sure girls don’t keep doing this in the future. 

To avoid ending up in the same situation, she recommends a few things. 

Don’t date someone in order to make friends. There are so many clubs and student organizations on campus that are there to facilitate you meeting other students and while getting really close with someone may feel like making friends, it will ultimately hinder you from being able to make more connections.

Also, don’t get into a relationship until after Halloween, at least. 

“You don’t have to dive in head first,” she said. “You don’t have to immediately try to be in a relationship, you can just be friends.”

This piece of advice is mainly to help you avoid love bombing. If you’re just friends, the extremely flattering compliments will probably come off as weird, helping you to realize that they probably aren’t genuine.

She also wants new girls on campus to remember that they will meet other men. There are so many students at Penn State, so it’s almost guaranteed that there are at least five guys with the same niche interest as you.

“Don’t settle,” she said, referencing how she fell for their similar music taste, “you just really like the idea of a cool, manic-pixie-dream-girl who listens to The Smiths.”

There’s at least one other person on campus that fits that description. You will meet another man.

“Now I know I will never make a fool out of myself like that again,” she said.

• college
• love