I don’t know about everyone else in the world, but this whole “global pandemic” thing really put a damper on my love life. Let’s just say the Tinder profiles in my hometown were far from soulmate material.
Over the course of a few months, this really took a toll on my mindset. Not just being single, but feeling unbelievably lonely and craving human connection. I wanted an adventure, or a cozy night in, or maybe just something casual like getting ice cream. I wanted to be driving around in love with someone screaming our favorite lyrics.
This is when I had a realization; why can’t I just take myself on dates?
Let’s get one thing straight- being single is not a disease. It’s not something anyone needs to “cope” with. But, the self-love you should gain while being single is the most liberating, beautiful, and special experience you will ever have.
We spend a significant amount of our lives on our own, but being alone does not mean you have to be lonely. Make it a personal goal to become familiar with and enjoy your own being; strive to be your own best friend.
That is how you “cope” with being single, and here are some ways I achieved that during quarantine:
I was the type of person who would spend my whole wallet on a significant other, yet I would feel guilty if I had to buy myself a new pair of work shoes for a few dollars. With that being said, I was also the type of person who would see little things at the store, like their favorite candy bar, and buy it just to make them smile.
This is my first challenge for you: start doing the little things for yourself.
Next time you stop at a gas station, get yourself a slushie. Oh, you don’t like slushies? Stop for ice cream on your way home, everyone likes ice cream. When you walk into the grocery store and see all of the pretty flower bouquets they have on display, buy yourself some!
If you’d do it for someone else, you’d better be doing it for yourself.
Self-love is not all about buying things, though. Take some time to make yourself a new playlist full of all your favorite throwbacks. Fill up your water bottle with some chilly H2O, get in your car, play that playlist, and drive around at sunset. Turn on DND and enjoy some time with yourself.
If you can’t drive and don’t have money, you can still take yourself on dates. Have a cozy night in, have some of your favorite snacks, curl up with a comfy blanket, and watch a new movie. (I highly recommend “Enola Holmes” – thank me later).
You could even do something meditative for yourself, like stretching each night before bed or practicing some yoga. Do a face mask, hair mask, paint your nails, braid your hair, something soothing that’s just for you.
Dive into a new hobby for yourself! Last month I decided to get a fish tank and learn how to properly care for a betta fish – I named him Reggie. This month I bought some acrylic paint and started painting for fun. I’m not necessarily talented, but it’s all about having a good time.
Personalize your self-care list and incorporate activities that you can enjoy on your own.
Self-care breeds self-love, and self-love comes over time. Just as you have fallen in love with others, you can learn to fall in love with yourself.
Treat yourself as if you are your best friend. Be kind, always, and remember you are loved.