Let’s face it, college heartbreak just hits different. Whether it’s a fling, a girlfriend or boyfriend, someone you’re just hooking up with, it is clear that it hurts in a different way.
So, how do you move on? How do you get over it?
Allow Yourself to be Sad
When going through something in college, there is little time to reflect on your sadness with necessary things such as daily classes, exams, and club meetings taking up the majority your time. Despite these responsibilities, it is important to put aside time to allow yourself to be upset. Let yourself cry. Let yourself be vulnerable. Grief is so important in the healing process, and if you don’t allow yourself to feel it, you will never begin to heal.
Realize Why You Feel the Way You are Feeling
Why does this breakup feel so much different than the others? Realizing that college is a time of “latching” can make all the difference. Think back to your first week of freshmen year. You latched onto the first friends that you made, even if you realized that they weren’t your people. You latch onto the first person you are romantically involved with in college, even if they aren’t your person, because everything is so new and scary. Becoming intimate with a person in college, on a campus that can often feel so overwhelmingly massive, is a reassuring feeling that can be hard to let go of.
Cut Off All Communication
Even after you have already begun the process of healing, it can be tempting to want to go back to someone so familiar, someone that feels like home. Unlike high school breakups, the access to this person is so much easier. You most likely have your own room, or at least your own bed, and it is likely that they are no more than 10-minute walk away. Though it may be hard, you have to push this ease aside and allow yourself to be free from this person. Cutting off communication doesn’t have to last forever, but until you are fully healed, it is the easiest way to get back on your feet and move on.
Talk to Your College Friends
Odds are, your friends that are also in college – whether at home or on campus with you – are going through the same thing. It is never embarrassing or shameful to ask for advice or help regarding relationships. Most likely, your friends will be glad that you brought up this topic, and relieved that you share a similar experience with them. This is another important part of getting back into your groove, all the while strengthening friendships and opening up to others, allowing yourself to feel relief.
Realize Your Worth
You’re in college! The fact that you’re here is an accomplishment in itself. You are a smart individual that has the power to move mountains during your time here. Realize everything it took to get this far and realize your overflowing potential to do even more. The right person could come at any time, but your time in college is limited. Get involved, study hard, go to parties, and become involved with people that cherish you and recognize your worth from the start. If the person who broke your heart was worthy of you, your heart would not be broken in the first place. Remembering that is key.