How to Deal with Politics at the Thanksgiving Table

Thanksgiving time: A peaceful holiday dedicated to gratefulness and loving others. That is until politics is brought up.

When you’re the problematic daughter, granddaughter, niece and/or cousin it is not easy to stay quiet. Especially they will not stop the political conversations.

You’re probably told to contain yourself, not speak your mind to keep peace.

However, I say screw that. Tell them how you feel. Tell them your beliefs. 

It is such an expectation for girls to act so proper and keep their mouths shut. How come everyone else can discuss how they feel?

I can only speak if it is agreeable? I am supposed to sit there nodding in agreement?

Speak your mind, girl. Say that out of pocket fact that’s been brewing in your mind. Be honest, do not hold back. Having a different view simply gives you more of a reason to present it.

Just because it is one against all does not mean you are silenced. It means you should be anything but silenced.

Tear it up. 

Sometimes all people need is to be humbled. No one expects the “perfect angel” of the family to speak up. Prepare your notes. Have your facts ready. Prove them all wrong. 

A lot of family members, elders especially, are unable to see the side of the younger generation. It is valuable to portray differing perspectives.

Prove to them that just because you are a young lady does not imply nativity. You have thoughts and opinions just as strong as any man. 

The Thanksgiving dinner table is more than just a table. It is society. The more we stay silent to keep peace, the more overlooked we will become. 

Everyone has a right to their own opinion. As a people pleaser, it is easy to shy away from arguments. We need to train our minds to stop doing that.

Our values are just as valid as our grandparents, as our parents, our aunts and our uncles. We may be younger, less experienced, but that does not invalidate our opinions. 

It is time we start using our voices. It is time people, our family members at least, take us seriously. I am done being viewed as unserious. 

Our ideals are anything but unserious. They are the most serious. We are the ones growing up in this society, it is our future.

Be that role model for the others at the table. Your siblings and cousins need that example. Sometimes by speaking your mind you can pave the way for others to do so.

However, it can still be peaceful. There’s a way to respectfully speak your mind and offer contradicting perspectives.

For example:

Attacking through ad hominems (name calling) is dangerous. It does get frustrating, infuriating even, to hear the people you care about to disregard your perspective. But the argument will remain superior if your grounds are your facts, not personal attacks.

Remain cool, calm and collected. The only way to gain respect is to contain yourself. Keep your head and confidence high, and keep your tone low, you’re more agreeable that way.

Pin them in a corner through questions. Present them with unanswerable questions and make them realize they have no answers. 

Use sources. Always offer where your information came from, and make sure it is reasonable and unbiased. It increases your intelligence and reliability in the argument.

Overall, female rage is real. It is time we let it out. Silence is no longer the answer.

I think we’re all sick of nodding our heads in agreement. So enjoy some turkey and go off, girl.

• food
• politics
• thanksgiving