The holidays are a time for warmth, joy and well-meaning but awkward questions from relatives. Whether it’s the classic “What’s your major again?” or the dreaded “Are you seeing anyone?” family gatherings can sometimes feel more like an interview than a celebration.
Here’s how to navigate these conversations with grace, humor and a dash of self-preservation.
- the “What’s Your Major Again?” Question
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Translation: “Are you doing something practical with your life?”
How to handle it:
This question is a rite of passage for college students. Respond with confidence — even if you’re still figuring things out.
- Polite response: “I’m studying [your major], and I’m really enjoying [specific aspect]. I’ve learned so much this semester.”
- Redirect: Shift the focus back to them by saying, “What about you? Did you always know what you wanted to do?”
If your major is unconventional or under scrutiny, remember, it’s your journey — not theirs. If they question you, briefly explain why you’re passionate about what you’re doing and then steer the conversation toward lighter topics.
- The “What Are You Going to Do After Graduation?” Question
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Translation: “Do you have your life completely figured out yet?”
How to handle it:
Few college students have a crystal-clear post-grad plan, and that’s okay.
- Polite response: “I have a few ideas I’m exploring right now, and I’m excited to see where they lead.”
- Humorous deflection: “First, I’m going to eat this pie and enjoy my break!”
If they keep pressing, share one concrete step you’re taking, like applying for internships or researching grad schools. This could also be a great time to take advantage of any connections your relative may have in your field.
- The “Are You Seeing Anyone?” Question
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Translation: “When are you bringing someone home?”
How to handle it:
Whether you’re single, dating or just not interested, this question can feel intrusive.
- Polite response: “No one special right now, but I’m focusing on school and enjoying life.”
- Redirect: “Speaking of relationships, how did you and [relative’s partner] meet?”
This approach politely sidesteps the question while showing interest in their story.
- The “Did You Go Vote?” Question
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Translation: “I want to know who you voted for.”
How to handle it:
Questions about voting can quickly become political debates, but they don’t have to be.
- Polite response: “Yes, I did.”
- Boundary-setting: If they press for specifics, politely say, “I’d prefer to keep my choice private.”
- The “Have You Gained/Lost Weight?” Observation
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Translation: “I’m noticing changes and don’t know how to keep them to myself.”
How to handle it:
Comments about appearance can be uncomfortable. Deflect them with grace:
- Polite response: “College life keeps me on my toes, but I’m feeling good. Thanks for asking.”
- Boundary-setting: If the comment feels hurtful, it’s okay to say, “I’d prefer not to talk about my body, but how have you been?”
When faced with awkward questions around the holidays, staying calm and collected is key — remember, most come from a place of love, even if they’re poorly phrased and slightly hurtful.
Keep your responses short and sweet; you’re not obligated to deep dive into your life unless you want to. Humor can be a great tool to diffuse tension and redirect the conversation, turning potential awkwardness into a lighter moment.
If a question crosses a boundary, it’s okay to politely say, “I’d rather not talk about that right now.”
The holidays are about connection, not interrogation. By approaching family questions with patience and positivity, you can keep the focus on what really matters: good food, great company and making memories.
If all else fails, excuse yourself to grab more dessert — it’s the perfect escape route.