I’m sure we’ve all been there, you’re scrolling through Instagram and you come across a post about how life is terrible or a failed exam. This post is probably from one of your friend’s finsta. Finsta, for the unfamiliar, is short for “fake instagram” and usually has posts with ugly pictures and captions about how life is chaotic and awful. I’m well aware of how popular these accounts can be to young people and I even follow some of my friend’s finstas. But I just think the message and motivation behind having a finsta is not one I agree with.
My biggest thing with finstas is that it’s an account where you show your “true” self because you feel like you can’t on your main Instagram. For me, I’ve learned to be myself no matter what and I try to do that on the regular. My social media is also an extension of myself so I’m as real as possible on it. What I’m getting at is if you’re honest and real on your Insta, then there’s no need to create a finsta in the first place.
Vulnerability can be a really tough thing, especially on social media. Finstas often are the place where we share vulnerable things, even if it’s funny in your eyes. However by doing this, we create a small secluded space where vulnerability is acceptable. I think it’s okay to let people know you’re struggling. I think we would all be more mentally healthy if we did. If your insta shows the good stuff going on, that creates a false image of how life works. This is why so many people are disillusioned into thinking their life has to be great all the time. It also harms people who believe that they need to be happy all the time. I used to think this way and I strived so much to only address the positive feelings in my life and didn’t feel the bad ones. You begin to think you’re the odd one out or that something’s wrong with you when you aren’t happy all the time. It took me a while, and some therapy too, to realize that everyone’s not happy all the time and that everyone’s struggling. If we normalized being vulnerable in our daily lives, we’d all be better off.
Being with people is a great way to process and deal with the negative parts of our days and weeks. When you’re only expressing your struggles through a finsta post, you miss out on the human connection and sympathy that comes along with that. Most of the time, your friends are the only people who can see your finsta posts. Good friends are there for you even when things are tough so tell them in person about how you’re feeling and how terrible your day is going. When you share your struggles in person, you get more sympathy than what you got on your finsta post. Also, being open with your friends and being vulnerable with them in person creates deeper friendships.
If you want a finsta, by all means have one. But for me, I don’t want that for myself. Being real and true to myself everyday is vital to my mental health and self esteem. I also want to be vulnerable and real in my life and when I’m posting online. That’s why I don’t believe in finstas and why I think the concept isn’t right for me.
Have opinions on finstas? Let me know in the comments!