My first year at my dream school has been a mixture of emotions. Being excited about going to sporting events, learning to be outgoing, the downtown atmosphere, classes for my future career, internships and the list goes on.
Living with a roommate was the first challenge I faced. Odd times going to bed, dealing with some of my biggest pet peeves, cleaning schedules, phone calls and learning to get along. I have had two completely different roommates, both of which were train wrecks. My self-esteem was soon flushed, finding living with someone was not the best decision for my happiness. Who wants to go to their room after a long day to hear about their roommate screaming on the phone with the lights on? The answer is no one. No one does.
I switched my major three times already in the matter of one year, losing money from classes and the endless number of hours studying for classes I didn’t want to be in. After switching my major, advising hours and the long list of pros and cons I finally landed on Public Relations. Something I knew was going to be even more emotionally draining, but in the end worth it. At a smaller campus of my dream school, I was able to talk with advisors about an academic plan focusing on a career more suitable for myself.
The peer pressure of going out is more taxing than a person would expect. Yes, the fun nights out with your closest friends are nights your supposed to not remember – but also remember – are supposed to be for the photo albums we will all look back at in 20 years. For me, I just couldn’t find happiness in either going out or staying in. I struggled with just wishing to be back home with my few close friends I knew I was happy with regardless if it were out or in.
Between visiting home and calling my friends from my childhood I knew something inside was telling me that this couldn’t last for long. I tried to put myself out there and make new friends, but nothing felt the same, and regardless of what I did I couldn’t find myself being happy away from home. After months on end of the finding my small voids I had officially signed the paperwork and transferred closer to home. I couldn’t be happier with the mindset of being closer to my support system, the one I knew I needed all along.
I understand I’ll being “missing out” on some great opportunities but what I have learned most in my freshman year of college is that I finally need to start focusing on my happiness and clear out all the negative people in my life. I’ve spent too much of my life pleasing other people and focusing on things that were not helping me grow as a person.