All throughout my life, whenever I would greet a new year, it would be at the beach, surrounded by everyone I knew. It was the beginning of the summer holidays, the promise of new adventures, love, and fun. In the midst of so many parties, beach days and celebrations, the beginnings of my years have always been special, and a great way to start the new season of my life in the best way possible. There was such a sense of freedom, of possibility, that I felt so powerful and as if I could achieve anything I wanted.
This year, however, everything was different. It was my first time in college, and I didn’t come back to Peru for Christmas. I went to Miami with my family, and with the COVID restrictions, New Year’s Celebrations felt a bit off. Coming back to Purdue, starting a new year during the winter for the first time, I don’t feel the positive New Year’s vibes I always felt growing up. In the midst of the pandemic strengthening once more and overwhelming assignments & responsibilities, I feel anxious rather than excited. I feel worried, nostalgic and cold. Very cold. (My South American body is not used to these freezing temperatures, sadly).
Despite these new and uncomfortable feelings, I have to remind myself that it is okay to feel this way. Sometimes, change doesn’t feel welcoming. It can be scary and hurtful. It can be alienating and discouraging. But without change, there is no growth. I know I would rather be at a Peruvian beach watching the fireworks and laughing about the past year’s mistakes with my friends. But I’m here at Purdue, in my beautiful college, and it’s cold, gloomy, and stressful. And at the same time, it is hopeful, full of possibilities, friendships, and dreams. It’s hard to begin a new year far away from everything I’ve ever known. But I love Purdue, and I love the growth I’m obtaining and the person I’m becoming. It’s hard to begin the year away from home. But at the same time, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.